I'm currently home alone with the Toddler and Girl Child, and she was about to start on the kitchen (her only chore), and I asked her, quite reasonably, I thought, to take all of her stuff and put it away before she went into the kitchen (her laptop, homework, backpack, and other assorted belongings were all over the couch and a TV tray), and because she kept asking me why and trying to get out of it, I wound up blowing up at her. Because apparently it's unreasonable of me to ask her to clean her stuff up when I'm about to release her brother from my lap and let him run around. I mean, what does she care if he pokes his eye out with her pen or breaks her flash drive or pops keys off her laptop? For fuck's sake.
I probably shouldn't have blown up at her, I could use the excuse that I am exhausted and stressed, but it was probably not the best thing I could have done. However, I have no idea what I could have done, because even with the blowing up, she still didn't pick up all of her crap before going into the kitchen, and I spent a full five minutes dragging a reluctant 17 month old around the living room by the hand while I got the rest of her stuff and trash taken care of so he wouldn't destroy her things or eat the trash. I'm just not equipped to know how to deal with her effectively. Maybe it's because of my age and because I don't have any kids yet, or maybe there isn't a good way to deal with that kind of resistance. I just want to beat my head through a wall. I love her so much, but she makes me crazy when she treats me like I'm not an authority figure and completely disregards what I ask her to do.
I love the fact that the Toddler loves The Good Night Show on Sprout so much that I stuck him in the giant lazy chair to see if he'd stay, and he's just sitting there watching it. He's so weird. He kissed and hugged the vacuum earlier. I love him. Even when he tries to break my jaw, which was his primary goal while I was trying to get Girl Child to clean up her stuff before going into the kitchen.
Apparently the children just do not like me today. I'm so going to bed super early tonight, and sleeping for about 12 hours.
S and M (haha) are having a friend, G, over tonight for video games and sushi. G is very quiet. I have yet to have an actual conversation with him.
The Toddler just ran over to give me a big hug and kiss, and that pretty much just made everything all better. I'm going to take him outside and have a cigarette while he runs in circles in the yard.