Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Captain Obvious Club has a New Member!

I'm back from my trip to Topeka.

This morning, my phone played my text message tone several times back to back (the Final Fantasy X victory fanfare), and S said, "You have texts!" I said, "Yes," and she said, "I'm Captain Obvious!"

I love it here. I really appreciate it when I've been gone for awhile.

Anyway, my trip to Topeka was interesting. I stayed with E's dad, who I'll call DM, and E on Monday night. DM picked me up first and we drove together to the airport to pick E up from her flight. I talked his ear off, because I talk nervously when I'm.. nervous. Ha. Anyway, E was starving when we picked her up, so we went to a Cracker Barrel near the airport to get some food. I got a baconriffic BLT, and E got her usual standby, chicken tenders, mac and cheese, corn, and mashed potatoes. DM got a salad. I chronicle this because the food was pretty bad. Mine and DM's turned out fine, but poor E had a gelatinous blob of potatoes that she couldn't eat, and her mac and cheese was a bit burnt.

Mashed potatoes should not behave like this.

Anyway, after that, we went to Macy's to buy a suit for DM for the funeral (the reason E was in town at all), which was some serious hilarity, as E appears to think that she can make her dad be something he's not. She wanted him to get new shoes that had these scary, long squared toes - they were horrifying. Apparently they're quite fashionable, but they weren't him at all. The salesman and I found a pair that worked much better for DM that E said would do, and then she made him get a new tie and belt. And a shirt. Poor man. And immediately after the shopping trip, we made the two-hour drive to DM's house, which is about halfway between Topeka and Manhattan, way out in the country. The property is gorgeous. I took pictures.

This is what DM gets to see every morning.  So. Jealous.

Since I didn't know the man who died (he was E's stepmother's father), I wasn't planning on going to the funeral, even though E said it would be fine if I went. (DM did not agree and was perfectly fine with me being entirely too uncomfortable with the concept of going to the funeral.) The funeral was in Wichita, so DM and E dropped me off at LK's house to spend the day and night. Well, they tried to drop me off, but LK wasn't even there, she was at her friend-boy's apartment, and her mother, MK, was there with LK's puppy, Thor. (He's a four month old Akita.)

Thor, the blurriest puppy in existence.
MK had no idea I was coming. She didn't even recognize E or me until we got right up to the porch, and then she got really happy. I haven't seen her since I was about 12, so that's probably a pretty dramatic change, I don't look anything like I did when I was 12. LK is apparently a master of communication, woo. After calling LK repeatedly, we managed to communicate that she needed to arrive like now, and she eventually showed up about half an hour later. There were hellos and goodbyes, and I spent the rest of the day hanging out with LK, and ended up helping LK paint her bedroom.

The house LK and her roommate are renting is owned by MK, and they're working on fixing it up really nice, which would be fine if their contractor would cooperate. He was supposed to be there by 11:00, and didn't show up until 6:00 that evening, screwed up the crown molding so they have a six-foot space that doesn't have any, and even though he promised to install the carpet, he didn't do it. He looked kind of like a skinny Jeff Daniels, except what hair he had left was shaved.

Contractor Guy kind of looked like this.  (Jeff Daniels)

In the evening, LK's roommate came home from work and picking her baby up from daycare.  The baby was 10 months old, but about the size of a typical 7 or 8 month old, and very cute.  She really likes to kick.  I got to hang out with her for a little while when her mother and LK went to the neighbors' house to get their wifi password, because they were willing to share the wifi until LK can afford to get internet in the house.  So MK and I played pass the baby and kept her entertained.  I love babies.  Then LK had to pick her friend-boy up from work, and he decided to stay over.

After the contractor and MK left, one of their friends showed up to hang out right about the time I decided to go to bed, so I slept through the rest of the night's events.  Apparently they were drinking, and LK's friend-boy decided it would be a brilliant idea to jump over the porch railing to get down instead of walking between the people on the stairs, and wound up badly injuring his ankle - they weren't sure if he broke it or just sprained it badly, but he had to be carried upstairs and was up most of the night crying from the pain.  They couldn't take him to the hospital because they were all unsafe to drive, so LK took him to the hospital in the morning.  No idea if he's okay or not, but I hope he will be, he was a nice guy.

E and DM showed up to pick us up for lunch while she was dropping him off at the hospital, so we had to wait for her to get back, and then we went to Bobo's Drive-In, which has been operating in Topeka since 1948.  Then we dropped Leah off at home and E and I went to her mother's house to visit her for a few hours, while DM went off and did some work at his company's Topeka location.  He likes to work.  I'm calling E's mother CR.

CR has a new dog, a seven month old Shiba Inu named Sam.  She had a Shar Pei named Ginger until May, but Ginger was too old and sick and had to be put down.  Sam is nuts.  He tried to eat my pants.  One of CR's cats tried to eat my feet, too, which I wasn't too pleased about, especially since I don't even like cats.  CR was pretty cool; I haven't seen her since E's wedding, and she knows about the divorce, so at least we could speak freely about that for awhile.  She's convinced E's husband is going to try to kill her or something because he's really obsessed with her.  There was a long talk about how E just needs to move the hell out and let her husband deal with not being able to afford their townhouse alone, especially since until about a week ago he was planning on trying to screw her in the divorce and get all her stuff, until he realized that under Tennessee law, you get to keep everything that you had before the marriage and only the stuff you got during the marriage gets split down the middle.  He even wanted to take E's dog, Buddy, who he doesn't even like.

Anyway, CR knows I'm an atheist and that E is no longer Catholic (she's been involved with First Assembly of God since we were in high school), but it really bothers her, so she gave me a rosary.  Not sure what I'm going to do with it.  Girl Child wants it to wear as a decoration, since it's not like I'll ever use it.  I've been an atheist since I was about 10.  CR is really nice, though, and was pretty happy to see us.  We set up her new speakers that E got her, and we explained that the new Firefox is the only one available now and that all of her stuff is still there and that she will just have to go through the effort of reorganizing everything.  Apparently she just got a new computer not too long ago, and she's really mad at it.

DM picked us up after a few hours (we were there for two or three, I'm not sure), and we drove E back to the airport to go back to Nashville, and then he drove me home.  He's really a sweet man, he told me I could always call him if I'm in any trouble, even though he lives two hours away.  He also really wants me to get my learner's permit set up so I can drive with him next time he goes to Nashville to see E so I can get some driving practice in.  I don't think he realizes how scary merging is, haha.  But her dad is really, really cool.  I think I kind of annoy him a lot, what with the incessant talking and all, but he likes me anyway.  And I proved I'm capable of being quiet, because he had a business phone call when he drove me home after dropping E off and I only talked when I needed to tell him that we needed to take an exit.

Anyway, it was a pretty good trip.  I called home while we were driving E to the airport, and S let the Toddler talk to me on the phone, and he was all kinds of excited to talk to me.  Totally made my day.  He calls me "Me" now, and it's really, really cute.  I missed the hell out of everyone while I was gone, too.

Last night was also movie night, and we were watching the third X-Men movie.  I played FFX for ten minutes after everyone dispersed, and then I passed out.  And today's been pretty ordinary, I had my camera out because there's a massive spider outside the living room window, and I was taking pictures and then decided to take a photo of Sunshine, but the Toddler photobombed it.  It's hilarious.  I won't share the photobomb (no faces, remember?), but I will share a picture of the spider.

"Why hello there, Mister Spider, are you enjoying your breakfast?"

No comments:

Post a Comment