Bizzaro Land

The other day, I was sleeping. I often do this. I was, however, having a dream. About my work. Here it is.

First of all, I was swimming in the snow. No, I don't know why, but I was trying to get somewhere or do something, and one of my CSMs, we'll call him Cornrows Guy because of his hairdo (those of you reading this who work with me know exactly who this is), was about 7 feet tall and yelling at me to hurry. There was also some sort of wooden platform structure thing, but I'm not sure what was up with that. I was seriously trying to maneouver in like five feet of snow. It was ridiculous. Then suddenly, as dreams do, I was in some store (NOT my work, it was more like TJ Maxx or Ross), and I was walking behind my sister (who happened to be Christina Aguilera) and we were arguing about something involving my wedding and her stealing the show, and we started pelting each other with beauty products, which was when the area we were in turned into the express registers on the north side of my store, and it was covered in tiny travel deodorants and things like that and Christina Aguilera had really kinky blond hair cut short like Renee Zellweger's was in Chicago, and we were really mad and there was more pelting, and then I started to wake up a little, and the dream turned into a lucid dream and I started freaking out because we had made all this mess at my work and I was trying to clean it up and then I realized that I should tell a CSM about it and then I realized that it wouldn't matter because of the security cameras and then I went to go tell a CSM that is no longer a CSM (Buzzcut Guy!), and as I was about to cry at him with handfuls of deodorant in my hands, I woke up.

I am crazy.

Winter Clothes, Laundry Success, and Rediscovering Music

I often completely forget about the existence of some songs.  I will hear a song, love it, and then years later be reminded of it (usually because of a Wikipedia trawl), and be horrified that I don't have it on my iPod.  I rediscovered Gone Till November by Wyclef Jean last night while I was reading Wikipedia articles about the previous MTV Video Music Awards shows, from back when they had a huge selection of categories and were actually about music.  Anyway, Gone Till November won an award in 1998, and I remember seeing the music video on MTV, because it was right around the time I started watching MTV.  (That makes me old, the fact that I can remember when MTV and VH1 had actual music videos broadcasting in the daytime.)  But I loved that song, and I forgot all about it, so I am very happy to have rediscovered it.  Now once I get all the music off the other computer and reorganize on this computer (J is pretty sure it's the motherboard that's gone bad, but he didn't even check to see if the power button is broken or not, so it could be that, too), I will have the ability to see what I do and don't have, and make sure I haven't already gotten it and just forgotten about it.  Because that would be annoying, and I tend to do that rather often.

Anyway, I finished the laundry today.  My shirt also arrived, which I'm very excited about, and it's now washed and dried and sitting in my dresser waiting for me to wear it.  S and I are picking up the bras tomorrow sometime, after we go to the library to print the email confirmation to prove that I am in fact the person who bought the damn things, and then there will (hopefully) be new bras!  Woo!  Also, folding sheets is awful and I do not recommend it to anyone who wants to keep their sanity.  But there's only one load of dirty clothing right now, and I need to wash the comforters, and that is it.  Everything else is clean.  I can't say put away because Girl Child won't let me put her clothes away for her and all she does is stuff them in a random part of her dresser and then wonder why nothing fits.  All the rest of the clothes are put away, though, except for a few of S's because the dresser simply doesn't have the capacity for more.  And the closet is so full I couldn't fit another thing in there if I was Hagrid.  I'm feeling pretty good about the state of the laundry, though - it's whittled down to a point where I'll only need to do about a load a day, probably.

I actually had a disagreement with Girl Child about that.  She doesn't see why I should want the laundry to be completely done.  Because she doesn't care, and she doesn't think it matters.  Sometimes I really just want to grab her and shake her - but I'll just fantasize about shoving a banana up her nose instead.  (No worries, no crabby hormonal teenagers were harmed in the making of this blog.)  Besides, the banana threat worked fairly well as a laugh-inducer earlier, even if she didn't bother doing any of the things I asked her to do until I nagged her about it.  I would fall over in a dead faint if I discover tomorrow that she actually bothered to put her sheets on her bed like I told her to.  I'm really frustrated with her right now, can you tell?

I spent this morning baby-sitting the Toddler because S didn't get to sleep until after 4:00 this morning and he woke up at 5:30, so at 8:00, she decided to get me up and ask me to take care of him until later.  She got another three hours of sleep, which I guess is something.  Unfortunately, there was so little coffee left in the house that what I ended up making was like weak tea.  It was very sad.  J was up until about 6:00 this evening (so almost 24 hours), so I had a little back-up when I was alone with the Toddler, and the day was generally a good one.  Dealing with Girl Child was frustrating, the Toddler was both a giant butthead and really sweet, J was mostly playing on his computer and quiet, and S was S.  The highlight of my day was playing Final Fantasy X.  I'm finally ready to admit that I'm a little over-leveled - I killed Seymour in the battle on Gagazet so quickly that I barely got everyone in on the AP for the battle.

While I was folding the laundry this afternoon, the Toddler hung out with me.  I stuck him in the crib while I was playing music and managed to get a decent amount done until he decided he wanted to go back to the living room.  It was actually a pretty cool way to fold the laundry, too.  I sang to him and he'd either "sing" or start to dance, and then he'd throw one of his stuffed animals at me and start screaming for no apparent reason.  He's adorable.

I just heard a weird noise.  It sounded like air rapidly leaking from an air mattress, and I was a bit startled, as it started very suddenly, so I began looking all around the living room for the sound, only to discover it was S, with her cheeks puffed out, blowing out air through her mouth.  I told her that I was very startled by the noise and had thought it was a giant balloon or air mattress I'd somehow not noticed in the living room leaking air, which she thought was very funny.  Then I said, "Oh, you're just leaking again," and she said, "Occasionally I just plug the hole with something.. You know, food, drink, cock, whatever."

Yeah, that's what it's like to live here.

Anyway, I had more stuff to write about.  Oh, yes.  This evening, I went through the stuff I have stored in totes downstairs (this is what my life boils down to - totes) so I could get all my winter clothes sorted out and ready for when it gets cold.  Not that I really need them - if I wear a long-sleeved shirt, I only need a light sweater when it's 30 degrees outside.  I barely wore my coat at all.  Not that it fits anymore - my chest has gotten too big to button it, and it was the biggest size Kohl's had in that style, and was the first girly coat I've ever owned.  I'm a little disappointed, but maybe I'll shrink a little once I lose some weight.  Anyway, I got my small supply of winter clothes out and took the clothes that I never, ever wear downstairs to keep down there.  They're all clothes that will count as work clothes if I ever manage to get a job, so they'll have to come back up once that happens, unless I have a uniform or something, but for now, they're fine downstairs.  Especially since most of them barely make it over my stupid boobs right now.  (Hence, new bra.)

Anyway, the hat I made last summer (I made a whole set for myself - scarf, hat, and two sets of arm warmers) finally looks good on me now that my hair has grown out - it looked really stupid last year.  Which reminds me, I need to get my ass in gear on the hat I'm making for S so she can wear it with the scarf I made for her last year.  Hopefully I'll be able to make Girl Child's Ravenclaw scarf soon, too - she'll like having that.

My hair is sort of long enough to braid.  It's not a braid I'd ever wear out of the house, because it's all stubby and it'd fall apart in three seconds if I was moving around at all, but it's good for just sitting here.

Anyway, I'm really tired, and there isn't really a whole lot else to say.

Broken Computer Redux and Other Crap

I had to switch computers yesterday morning.  The power switch stopped working on the one I've been using, so I'm back to the stupid Frankenstein computer.  I'm really frustrated - I've got a lot of stuff on there already that I don't have anywhere else, and my bookmarks on this computer are not updated to reflect the bookmarks on the other computer.  I guess this is what happens when I shut the computer down.  FML.

I slept most of the day yesterday because I woke up feeling awful.  I'm sucking today, too, but that's mostly because of the events of last night - there was a giant incident with Girl Child late last night after S went to bed and after I got the Toddler back in bed.  S won't want me to write too specifically about it, so I won't go into detail, but there was a lot of yelling and she's lucky that the police weren't called on her by the neighbors.  Also, as awesome as M is, he only made things worse by getting involved.  Let's just leave it with last night was very frustrating and stupid over something very simple, but I'm very proud of how J handled it when he got home from work this morning - he handled it beautifully.

But, partly because of last night, I only got about three hours of sleep, so I'm probably going to end up going back to bed soon.  Once I get actually sleepy, because I'm not feeling sleepy at all right now.

Before everything went all stupid last night, S and I watched a few episodes of The Joy of Painting, which causes hilarity to ensue rather often, because Bob Ross is kind of unintentionally hilarious sometimes.  I also made pudding from scratch last night and discovered that the recipe I used called for way more cornstarch than was necessary.  It tasted okay, but it was so thick and gelatinous that you could have rolled it into a ball and bounced it off the floor, so the texture was rather awful.  I actually dropped some on my shirt and it didn't even stick or stain or anything.  Yep.  Definitely way too much cornstarch.

My hair looks freaking terrific right now.  I am so never, ever using commercial shampoo and conditioner again.  I love the hell out of my hair right now.  I got a wide-tooth comb the other day to use in the shower, and it distributed the apple cider vinegar through my hair very nicely, and everything is all soft and perfect.

Anyway, I have a couple pictures to share.  I'd have links, too, but without my bookmarks from the other computer, I don't have any of them available and will have to collect others later today.

This is my awesome lemon shirt.  Girl Child has the same shirt in her size.  This leads to confusion on her part.

I discovered I was followed into the bedroom when I was taking the picture of my shirt, and found the Toddler, who had climbed on the bin of his spare toys and was just sitting there.  Yes, his face is hidden on purpose.

This is the Toddler.

I just ate a pile of bacon, so this morning just got transferred to the best morning ever.  Because bacon does that.  I love bacon.

Jam Session

Here's a quick post to explain how my day is going.

Girl Child and I just had a jam session of hilarious proportions.  She played chords on her guitar while I sang horribly like Phoebe from Friends.  It's our Posterity Video of Posterity, and we'll be putting it on my YouTube account later once I have possession of the file.

In any case, we've been getting along really well today (my relationship with her is like she's my kid sister, so we fight a lot).  I helped her get some secret items for her Final Fantasy X game earlier, and then nagged her about cleaning her room.  We definitely have a strange relationship.

There's not much else to say, really.  Just a really good day.

Doggies!

So I have a real post to post later, since I didn't write anything for the past few days, and I'm going to write that later, but for now, here is a picture of Shadow and Sunshine when she was four months old.  She was ridiculously cute.

Sunshine and Shadow - d'awww!!

I love how big her nose was back then!  I love puppies!!  I was going to post a picture of the two of them together more recently, but I have roughly 10,000 pictures and can't find the picture I was looking for.

And now, S and I shall continue on our The Joy of Painting marathon.

The Rambliest Post Ever

So I haven’t bothered writing a post at all this week. This week has kind of sucked. I’ve been completely sleep-deprived for the last two or three days, and we’re out of cigarettes (and I’m not sure if we’re getting more or if only J is going to be smoking from now on), so I’m a real treat to be around right now.

I’ve almost completely finished all the laundry that was taken downstairs, though, so as long as I maintain it a little better, we won’t end up with a laundry mountain taking over the hallway again.

I spent three days working on a new Sharpie art piece - I don't have a photo of the completed version (and I'm not entirely sure I'm happy with the completed version), but I do have a photo of it as it was right before I finished it off.

I haven't decided if I want to call this anything or not.  It now has a few more ribbons of yellow and some more stars and a black background.

I've also got photos of the crazy line drawing and the slightly schizophrenic-looking one that I'm pretty sure I've already mentioned previously.  I'm going to put those in the photo gallery instead, though, I think.  The crazy picture up above I'm thinking about uploading to DeviantArt as a work in progress photo since it's been months since I added anything to my profile.

Anyway, Thursday and yesterday were particularly bad in this incredibly fun week.  Girl Child had a friend over for a sleepover, which wasn't a problem, she's actually been working on cleaning her room, so S said she could have her over.  The problem came when Girl Child basically seems to have decided that since her friend is over, she can treat me any way she wants, regardless of the fact that I am an adult and she is not.  So the last two days have been nothing but us sniping at each other because I've finally cracked.  She completely overreacts to everything I say and do, even when I'm being perfectly lovely to her, so I'm done trying to be nice, at least until she adjusts her damn attitude and starts showing me some respect, because I'm sick of her crap.

Today, S and the Toddler are going out to meet up with a friend of S's, AC, for a little while, since it's been awhile since they've seen each other.  He's almost doubled in size (or at least it seems that way to me) since AC last saw him in October. 

Sunshine is slowly starting to get back to normal, so maybe she won't need to be put down after all.  She's sort of started wagging her tail again, and wagging her butt sometimes, too.  Unfortunately, she's also started being food aggressive toward Shadow again, even when he's nowhere near the food.  And for fuck's sake, we don't starve her!  There is always food available.  Dumbass dog.

My hair is about as long as it was in March of 2010, so I'm a little over a year behind where I would have been if I hadn't ever cut it, so at least there's that.  In about another year, it'll be waist-length, so in about two years, it'll be about to where I want it.  It's starting to look thicker, so maybe this not-dyeing thing is working out for me.

I don't particularly have anything of substance I want to write about.  I'm feeling particularly anti-social today.

I'm hoping to soon be able to get my learner's permit so I can start to get the hang of driving again - I discussed it with S a week or so ago and mentioned that if I got it in July, I could try for my license in October - I'm hoping to have my license before next spring, because S is planning on having a medical procedure done that would render her unable to drive for over a month, and the entire household would disintegrate if she didn't have a substitute driver.  Seriously, no bills would get taken care of, we would starve and die, J would never again get a prescription filled, and the car would eventually run out of gas or something.  Of course, we'd have starved and died by then, but still.  So it would probably be preferential for me to have a license so I can help in that way - plus, that would enable me to have a bit more independence - I could also get a job further away once I find a job nearby that I can use to get enough money to buy a car.

I was so angry at the couch the other night that I coated it in tape so it would stop falling on me.  I hate sleeping on it, we were supposed to get a new couch four months ago, but shit kept happening and we never were able to get one.  So I took a roll of packing tape that I had downstairs from a move and taped the cushion fabric to the top of the couch frame.  I think, since S and the Toddler are out of the house, I may remove the tape and nail it up there for a more permanent solution, at least until we get a new couch.  We're basically going to have to completely take this couch apart when we get rid of it to find all the crap we've lost inside of it.

This week has been crap.  The only reason I sound so damn cheerful half the time is because that's just how I sound these days - I don't think there's a power in the 'verse could stop me being cheerful for long.  This is what happens when you decide that you are going to be happy no matter what.  Eventually you stop trying to seem happy and just are happy.  And funnily enough, after writing all this down, I'm a lot less cranky and angry than I was when I started, so maybe that's another little nugget of wisdom I've learned: don't bottle everything up, find an outlet.

The weather here is awful, I wish it was winter again.  All my clothes that look good on me are too warm for me to wear unless it's 20 degrees outside.  It's currently over 90, and even with the air conditioning on, I feel like I'm melting.  I'm wearing my oldest, rattiest pajama pants and an ancient t-shirt, so I should be fine, but my stupid body is convinced that it's actually on fire.  (I've had these pajama pants since 8th grade, actually - I got the set specifically for pajama day at Sumner, and the only reason I can still wear them is because the elastic is basically exploded.)

I love the music that M makes - this particular song simultaneously makes me feel like my heart is swelling and makes me think of Jurassic Park.  What a combination.

I'm experimenting with not messing with my fingernails at all unless they get a snag, and am working on breaking myself of the only relic of biting my nails - sucking on them.  They're still very thin and bendy, and I hope they eventually get hard if I stop putting them in my mouth and idly playing with them, but right now they're like kitten claws - flexible and sharp.

Yesterday, S and I were introduced to a new way to play the Bad Translate game by my friend CN.  There's an online tool that does the translation transitions for you, so 10 translations, 20, 30, 40, 50, or 56 - and there are often hilarious results.  S and I spent most of yesterday playing with it, writing stream of consciousness passages, nonsensical sentences, and weird phrases to see what we would get.  For example, if you input, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog," and tell it to translate that sentence 50 times, it comes back with, "Fox Brown cloth."  I don't know what the hell that's supposed to mean, but it's pretty funny.

I require more coffee and I am interested to see if we have any canned pumpkin in the house at all, because I'm interested in completely winging a pumpkin cake.  Since I'm awesome like that.  I just wish I wasn't so tired.  I hope today doesn't suck as much as yesterday did.

Laundry, Plans for the Week, and An Obsession with Chocolate

I really shouldn't try to write blog posts when I'm tired.  That's really why I haven't been posting lately - I've been tired for the whole week.  It's been kind of awful.  Anyway, I was looking over last night's post, and found lots of really weird bits where the words in the sentences didn't make sense.

I was so desperate for chocolate earlier that I mixed together some baking cocoa, sugar, a bit of butter, a bit of milk, vanilla extract, and a little cinnamon together to create a concoction that was sort of a cross between chocolate syrup and liquefied candy bar, which was more what I was going for.  I'm not sure what I'd need to do to improve this, but I was impressed with myself for my first attempt.  It was so rich, though, that I had to add more milk to it so I could ingest it and get some form of chocolate.  Oh my god chocolate, how I love you.  I'd love you more if I could type properly, but between the keyboard slowly dying and my dyslexic fingers, I'm screwed on that one.

After the Toddler and S wake up (they are napping), we are going to the store.  I have forgotten what we're buying, but I hope it's chocolatey.  Because everything seriously needs to be made out of chocolate right now.  I want to live in a chocolate house and just take great big bites out of the walls.

I am not normal.

The Girl Child has yet to return home from her visit with her best friend, who is in town visiting her dad for the summer.  (Girl Child's best friend currently lives in New Mexico with her mother and only sees her father during school breaks.)  Don't worry, I'll think of an abbreviation for the girl sometime soon - I'll need to, as she'll be around a lot, hanging out with Girl Child.

E is coming into town this Thursday.  We're going to go out for an activity of some sort that will surely involve eating food, and then she'll drop me back at home and continue on to her dad's house.  She comes back to Kansas every summer for Royal Family Kids Camp, which is a summer camp for abused and neglected children, and the last couple of times, she's managed to stop by to visit me for at least a little bit, either going to her dad's or on the way back to Nashville.  I can't wait to see her, though I imagine she'll be horrorstruck by how fat I've gotten just since last year.  At least this time my hair isn't all falling out from hair dye, too.

I need to start finding clothes for going to the store and stuff, the Toddler has been asleep for ages, so I'm pretty sure he'll wake up soon.  He may not, though - he woke up at 3:00 and stayed up.  Only after bashing S and me with his head when S was trying to get him to sleep with her in the bed.  I'm not sure what time S got up this morning, because I was asleep and didn't wake up until 9:00 this morning.  I thought J was a fold in the blankets on the other side of the bed and accidentally kicked him, but all he did was roll over and stick his arms out weirdly, so I guess I didn't hurt him.

I'm hoping this week we can take ALL the laundry to the laundromat and just get it all washed at once.  And get Girl Child's room cleaned out so there's room to put all her clothes away so she'll stop stealing all the laundry baskets.

Today I need to find as many of my clothes as possible and wash them; I'm completely out of clothes and I'm really annoyed about it.

Anyway, obviously today isn't the most exciting day ever.  It's hot and muggy and disgusting outside.  I'm going to get dressed the rest of the way and then work on my crocheting some more, though I think I'll temporarily abandon the bag for awhile because I really want to get started on the actual work of getting the afghan all put together and stuff.

Weather Check!

Why is it that as soon as I left the library yesterday, I had more books available to check out by the time I returned home?  Dammit!

So I receive text messages from weather.com (The Weather Channel's website) every morning, telling me the abbreviated 36-hour forecast.  Every morning, my phone dings at around 8:25, and either I or S will say, "Weather check!"  Today, it was expanded to me saying, "Weather check!  We might have weather today, let's see."  Then I read the forecast out loud and S said, "Wait, let's double check that," and opened the window and said, "Yep, there's weather out there."

We are hilarious.

Today's plans include laundry, the library, bathing, finishing the grocery shopping, and possibly learning to cook steak.  Not necessarily in that order.  (Quite mundane, really.)

I hate this butterfly garden commercial they have on Sprout 5486379 times a day.  Where do the caterpillars come from?  Do they sell them in the winter, too?  What if they're butterflies that aren't naturally supposed to be in the climate of the new owners?  Poor butterflies.  I feel so sorry for them.

I woke up a lot easier this morning, which was nice.  S was shouting at the Toddler two minutes before my alarm and I managed to get up right away and help her.  He had escaped and was in Girl Child's room, trying to destroy her art supplies, and when I picked him up, he peed and it leaked right out of his diaper and onto my foot and Girl Child's floor.  What a way to start the day.  But now I'm full of coffee and he's occupied by Sprout, and S and I are reading MLIA stories to each other.  Who knows what's going to happen the rest of today, but it's been a good morning so far, even with the pee-on-foot incident.

Captain Gimpy and the Toddler

S and I are secretly about 14 years old.  ("I wish my fingernails were like yours, I hate mine."  "Yeah, well, I wish my fingernails were like yours."  "You shut up."  "You shut up.")

I went to bed at 2:00 this morning, due to my inability to sleep, with a towel on the couch under a sheet, because the ice pack J made for S yesterday afternoon leaked very badly without our knowledge.  I set my alarm clock for 7:00 and am exhausted already, and it's barely 10.  I can't wait until the Toddler goes down for his nap, I may nap, too.

Today, I have made coffee, juggled the Toddler on my hip while trying to set up the high chair one handed, fed the Toddler, prepared mugs of coffee for S and myself, and made my own breakfast (Cocoa Puffs).  The Toddler had a banana and Cocoa Puffs.

The Wiggles are really strange.  ("Fruit Salad.  Yummy yummy.  Fruit Salad.  Yummy yummy.")

I plan on getting all the laundry I can downstairs today, and maybe vacuuming the hallway today if I can manage it.  I think I'm also making dinner, but I'm not sure what's happening with that yet, since S and I haven't really discussed it.

What is this with the Toddler's obsession with his mother's shoes?  Crazy baby.  He's gigantic.  I remember when I met him last February, he was so little.  And he barfed on me.  (Well, spit up, not really barf.)  He's almost up to my waist now, and he talks a little, and he is rapidly developing his own personality.  It's so cool to watch someone develop and change like that.

Sometimes I think he's as close as I'll get to ever having a kid of my own.

S polished his toenails green yesterday morning.  It actually looks REALLY cute, especially since he basically has his mother's feet, so his feet look really nice with polish on them, just like his momma's.

I have a huge reading list that I'm working my way through, here are the books I have checked out of the library now that I haven't read yet:

The Lost Continent: Travels In Small-Town America - Bill Bryson (currently about halfway through)
The Great Typo Hunt by Jeff Deck and Benjamin D. Herson
Grimm's Fairy Tales by The Brothers Grimm
Hans Christian Anderson's Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Anderson
(both of the fairy tale books are closer to the original stories, so there's more blood and murder and pitchforks)
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
The Time-Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

 Books on hold that I haven't picked up/aren't available yet:

Serenity Vol. 3: The Shepherd's Tale by Zack Whedon and Joss Whedon (I'm still waiting for Vol. 2: Better Days to be available, but I don't necessarily need to read them in order.)
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
The Canterbury Tales by Geoffery Chauser
A Girl Could Stand Up by Leslie Marshall (I've already read this a few times, but it's really good.)
Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson
Neither Here Nor There: Travels in Europe by Bill Bryson
Fly Away Home by Jennifer Weiner
Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block
Chasing Fire by Nora Roberts

(I've got other holds, too, but they're either books I've already read a couple of times or are holds for S and the Toddler.)

Books I have out that I've already finished:

The Girl She Used to Be by David Cristofano
Nanny Returns by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus
Serenity Vol. 1: Those Left Behind by Joss Whedon

There are also a few books that I have out that I got for the Toddler, but he's not very interested in reading these days, so I may wait a few more months before getting more out for him, like when he stop trying to destroy everything in the world and actually will sit and let us read a whole book to him instead of letting us get four pages in and then wanting to run around and shred the book.  Hilarious.

Anyway, I need to get going, I have to pick up my available holds.  Woo-hoo!  Anyway, today isn't the greatest day ever, but I'm still in a terrific mood, even with trying to keep the Toddler out of the laundry and everything else he's after.  All in all, just a regular day, even with Captain Gimpy (S) being almost completely out of commission, poor thing.