Today, I found a link to a blog about finding fashionable, pretty clothing for the fuller-figured girl with very large breasts, and some of the things she wrote really struck a chord with me, so it's essay time.
I wear a size 20. Sometimes I'm an 18, or a 22, or a 24, depending on where I'm shopping, but for the most part, I am a size 20. However, if I follow the sizing chart at Lane Bryant (which is where I bought the only pair of jeans I have that fit), I wear a size 26. Funnily enough, it even has the measurements that would be accurate to my size listed as what a size 26 dress would be, but if I tried on a size 26, I would be swimming in it. Except for my boobs, probably.
Most dresses I've tried on have only fit at the chest, because I have to size up for my breasts. I am already not a thin woman. I struggle to find clothing that actually flatters my body and makes me feel good without being painful to wear or uncomfortable. It is incredibly frustrating to have to buy tents for my body because they do not make dresses for my shape. Large breasts aren't even close to being accomodated by the fashion industry, at least not if they are paired with proportionately large waists. I am never going to have a 30 inch waist again, especially not with my chest, which ranges from a 42G to a 36HH, depending on the cut and style of the bra, and the individual manufacturer. I am not going to be a size 10 ever again. I think I'll be lucky if I manage a size 12 or 14, which is my goal for when I eventually lose weight.
Even though I want to lose weight, I am still a size 20 right now, with very large boobs. I believe I deserve to feel pretty, I deserve to look nice when I want to look nice, and I am sick and tired to death of wearing nothing but enormous t-shirts because none of my clothes fit and I can't find anything in the womens' department that does. Pepperberry, Bravissimo's clothing line, doesn't even go up to my waist size. In fact, the largest size they carry is a full 10 inches smaller than my waist.
This is incredibly frustrating for me. I feel like I am being told that I do not deserve to look or feel beautiful because I am a larger girl. I am told this everywhere I go. The last guy I went on a date with basically told me that while I was good for a quick fuck, I was not good enough to be a girlfriend because I am too fat. I am tired of this. I am tired of being laughed at, I am tired of being used, and I am tired of my size and weight being a "problem". It is not a problem, or at least it is not my problem. My only real problem with my body is that I can't find anything to fit it and that my weight is causing me some health problems. This is the primary reason I want to lose weight. Not so I can feel beautiful again, not so I can get honked at while walking down the street, but so I can run again, so my tendons stop hurting, so the weight of my chest doesn't cut off my ability to breathe. I didn't even start having health problems related to my weight until I got larger than a size 16.
I want to be able to look in the mirror and think I am beautiful without worry about whether I am "too fat". I want people to stop telling me there's something wrong with me. I want people to stop telling me that I should get a breast reduction. I want the opportunity to learn to love my body, my whole body. I deserve that. Every woman deserves to love herself for what she is and not what everyone thinks she should be.
(Next post will have a link round up and maybe a little bit of stuff about life, since I haven't posted anything in over a week.)
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
My Face May Explode Soon
Allergy season has kicked in with full force. I can barely breathe and everything tastes horrible. I thought I was getting sick yesterday, but now that the weather has finally cooled down, I am merely unable to breathe and not hot and itchy. I am probably going to start sleeping between 9 and 16 hours a day, too, if last year's trends are anything to go by. I spent most of August and September last year asleep.
Anyway, so I'm not terribly able to keep up anything like a posting schedule, as I'm generally in a hazy stupor. So I'm doing a lot of reading, which has caused me to accumulate a large number of links. So there's going to be a rather impressive link round-up at the end of this post.
Let's see, a whole fat lot of nothing has been happening this week. I did update my OkCupid account yesterday, but that doesn't mean anything, as I'm not terribly sure I'm interested in using it. I mostly updated it because I had nothing else to do, and it kept me briefly entertained. Honestly, after that last guy from there, I'm not entirely sure I trust OkCupid - there seem to be a disproportionately large quantity of assholes on the site. In any case, that's what I spent a good bit of yesterday doing.
It finally rained yesterday, bringing tolerable temperatures to the area, which is very nice. I went and stood outside in the rain for awhile, and after it rained, Girl Child went outside to mess around and we found some snails, so I took a whole bunch of pictures of her holding them so S would finally have some more recent photos of her. I also got some photos that are of just the snails and her hands, and got permission from S to post one, so here's a picture of a tiny snail on Girl Child's hand:
There's going to be a detailed photo of the snail itself on the Photo Gallery page, if there's any interest to see extreme snail-y detail.
Anyway. Nothing exciting is happening. I washed my hair last night before going to bed and woke up with a giant tangled frizzy fluffball. I don't know how this happens. Hermione keeps trying to possess me, but all she manages to get to stick is her damn hair. Well, she can keep her hair! Take it back! Oh my god. I've tried using the boar bristle brush to distribute the sebum to the ends of my hair in the hope that that would be helpful, but all that did was make it stand on end more. I look like I've been electrocuted!
So, in other news, I received a call from E the other day. I hope she doesn't mind me posting about this, but I don't think anyone she knows reads this blog, especially since her mother has me hidden from her news feed on Facebook because of my prodigious use of the word "fuck". But I digress.
E was crying when she called me. I already knew about this at the time that I posted about going to Topeka, but hadn't mentioned it yet, but since it's now a thing... Anyway, E had her doctor do the genetic test for breast cancer. I don't know if he did both BRCA1 and BRCA2, but she is at risk - most of her mother's female relatives have had it by the time they were 50, including her mother, so I can see why she'd want to know, but at the same time, it's rather worrisome, because it makes me wonder if her insurance company will cover treatment if she develops it at some point in the next 50 years, since American insurance companies will do that to you.
Anyway, I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. I feel for her, but am I supposed to go on acting like everything will be fine? That's been my approach so far, and I think it's helping her. Maybe. I know I don't intend to treat her like she's going to die, since her chances range from 56% to 87% of her contracting it by the time she's 70. Maybe she won't get it until she's 67 or something. I know I'm not going to treat her like a time bomb, or in any other way that is different from how I have treated her for the past 15 years. Even if she does develop cancer when she's 35, she's still the person she was before, not a disease.
Well, that was depressing.
In other things for me to worry about with E, she and her husband have agreed to divorce. He's also stopped saying that he wants to take her to court, because most of the belongings they have were acquired by E before the marriage, and all that would happen would be that he would have a lot less stuff than before. I think this is a fairly sensible course of action, and a lot better than the previously childish behavior he was displaying when E first made it apparent that she wanted a divorce. However, this does not absolve his previous behavior, and I am not even slightly impressed by him. I hope, if she ever gets married again, that she marries an actual adult next time, and not a man-child. At least that's good news, sort of. I mean, getting divorced sucks, but at least she's not sentencing herself to a lifetime of misery instead of facing and dealing with the issue.
I tried to call her this morning, but she didn't answer the phone, either because she was busy or because she didn't recognize the number, since I called from the house phone and not my cell phone. She called while I was writing this post and we talked for a very long time about lots of different things. It was nice, we haven't done that in a long time.
I've been amusing myself by pressing on my sinuses in my cheeks, because it makes my nose feel like it's being strangled. It's kind of a cool sensation, actually. I imagine that's weird.
I've allowed myself to fall behind on the laundry, mostly due to the lethargy that comes with allergies and sleep deprivation. This sucks, but hopefully I'll feel a little better in a few days and will be able to keep up with it again. Please.
I think I'm going to take a walk today, since it's so nice out. That'll be different.
I recently took photos of the giant spider that lives right outside the living room window eating a cicada. It's actually pretty cool, and if I wasn't terrified of the spider, I'd go outside in the early mornings and get pictures of it from that angle, but I'm simply not able to do that. That layer of glass between us is the only thing that allows me to photograph it at all. It is a pretty interesting thing to observe, though. Also, S says that it's just an orb weaver, which is a pretty common spider. According to her. Because I have no idea. I know what black widows look like, and I can sometimes identify brown recluse spiders, and jumping spiders because they're easy, but the rest are "OMG KILL IT" and tarantulas. Except for those spiders that eat birds in Australia. Those make me want to move to a space station permanently. Anyway, spider picture.
Anyway, I have links. I have about 20, actually, due to the fact that I don't stop reading things like Fark just because I haven't written a blog post. Also, my head feels like a water balloon from the incredible amount of sinus pressure I'm developing at an exponential rate.
Links Round-Up
I'm starting with the saddest stuff first today, so there'll be less sad at the end.
There are a lot of articles about 9/11 lately, since the 10th anniversary is coming up, and one of them was about the photographer who took the famous "Falling Man" picture, and how everything surrounding the photo and that day have affected him, and it also talks about how powerful the image is. That's one of the more heartbreaking photos I've seen from September 11th. The explosions, the people running in the streets, none of that is as gut-wrenching as looking at that photograph.
In addition to the article about the Falling Man photograph, I also found an article about surviving twins from the attacks - 46 people who were twins died, and their surviving siblings have been trying to figure out how to go on with their lives after suddenly becoming an "I" instead of a "we".
Apparently a whole lot of people would rather feel safe than have their rights. That's really scary. I will never trade my rights for more security. That's how things like the Patriot Act happen.
Why, why would someone have to go to jail for overdue library books? I can't imagine what the motivation is and I'm horrified that this happened. What's next? The death penalty if you lose a few over the course of your patronage at the library? This is why our libraries are disappearing.
This guy is seriously fucked up. Also, this makes me never want to own a computer with a webcam again. I wonder if the government has the ability to do that. That's a seriously scary thought.
There's a 10 year old child who lives in a small town and has identified as female since toddlerhood, despite being biologically male. Her parents, when they talk about their children, say they have two daughters, and she is allowed to dress how she pleases and decorate her bedroom in a feminine way, as well. The only dissenter is her grandfather. I think she's very lucky, and I wish her all the best in her future.
Some bigoted asshole thinks it might be psychologically damaging for children to witness diversity being welcomed on national television, and advises against allowing any children to watch Chaz Bono (Cher's son) on Dancing With The Stars. Also, how is seeing a transgendered person on television going to affect the sexual/personal identity of any children or adolescents watching the show? I think it's great that it's not being treated as a thing by the show, as it's just one of many identities a person can have. Of course this article is from Fox News.
I think it's pretty cool that advertisers are starting to be more diverse when showing commercials for their products. K-Y has a commercial following their current trend of couples talking, but showing a lesbian couple this time. It's not any different at all from any of their commercials featuring heterosexual couples, and I think that's wonderful. Maybe things will be okay and acceptance is in store for the LGBT community. Also, the slideshow of commercials on this article are worth watching, particularly the John Hancock Financial Services commercial, which made me cry.
I found a very old article about Lane Bryant while researching the origins of the company a few days ago, talking about the controversy surrounding a lingerie ad that was supposed to be aired during prime-time slots, alongside very similar Victoria's Secret ads. But of course, the networks had a problem with the Lane Bryant ad, what with the very healthy, voluptuous, sexy woman in the commercial, while the walking clothes hangers in the Victoria's Secret spots received no criticism at all. Obviously we're having a problem here figuring out what is sexy. Personally, I do not think a woman who has protruding hip bones, ribs, shoulders, and everything else is a sexy person. Anorexia is not hot. My personal, ultimate goal for the weight loss I'd like to achieve is to look like that Lane Bryant model. Because shit. She is HOT. Oh my god.
I'm voting for Obama this election, and this is why. At least he's not trying to take away more of my rights. This terrifies the hell out of me. I'm not sure what candidates the other parties have, but because everyone is so complacent in this country, there will never be any real change to the world because no one cares enough to make it happen or elect someone that might be able to fix this mess. I really do think we need a complete overhaul of our government system, this is ridiculous. I want to only elect people who pay attention to the needs and wants of the people they're supposed to be representing, or maybe we should just get rid of Congress altogether so that way the general public can vote on every law that goes through and whether it should be a law or not. I don't know. I'm not really educated enough to figure out what the solution to this would be, but I don't think it has anything to do with keeping the same corrupt, self-serving rich assholes in office. In any case, I want to keep my reproductive rights, so none of the people that are Republican candidates for president are getting my vote. I just find it hilarious that this is what Republican has come to mean, because they used to be the polar opposite of this.
Also, speaking of reproductive rights, a judge in Texas blocked parts of a new abortion law that was ready to take effect on September 1. The law would have forced every woman who wanted an abortion to view a sonogram of her fetus/embryo and listen to its heartbeat, without exception for a woman who was the victim of rape or incest. If she was, and did not wish to view a sonogram (duh), she would have to certify in writing exactly why she didn't want to do that. I would imagine that anyone who was having an abortion would probably not want to view a sonogram. Apparently it's more important to protect the rights of a cluster of cells than the woman incubating them these days, and honestly, I don't see how that cluster of cells is more important that my wants. Once it becomes a viable living baby, we'll talk. Also, the Justice Department is starting to crack down on abortion protesters harassing women who are entering the clinics. I love how abortion protesters don't even think for a second that a woman might go into a Planned Parenthood to get a pap smear, or renew her birth control prescription, or to get free condoms, or any of the other things that happen at Planned Parenthood that have nothing to do with an abortion. For fuck's sake, people, get a grip and stop this insanity. It is no one's business but the individual's if they want an abortion. Back the hell off.
Some assholes decided to teach a female smoker a "lesson". Did you know that cigarettes actually release less harmful chemicals and gases into the air than, say, cars? And the truck in the video obviously had some illegal modifications done to it. I hope that woman called the cops or something, because she definitely did not deserve that. This is why I am against anti-smoking laws. Who cares if they are smoking? I think it's fine if people are smoking outside of public gathering places. I'm still working on quitting, so I can speak from the perspective of a smoker. I have never been comfortable smoking in bars and restaurants that allow it, preferring to go outside. I'm always mindful of blowing the smoke away from others as much as possible. I try to be as fucking considerate as possible, but these guys? If they did that shit to me, I'd hunt them down and blow an entire pack's worth of smoke directly into their eyeballs. And then kick them in their balls. Fuck you, anonymous truck-driving assholes.
I really like wildlife photography. It's not something that I sit around and talk about at length or anything, because that's just not very interesting, but sometimes there are photographs that just grab you and scream to be talked about. These photos of lions are some of that kind of photograph. The facial expressions are just incredible. Lions are beautiful.
Also, desert sunset photos. Because this particular jet trail looks like a tornado, and these are beautiful photographs.
I really like the concept of store pets. It's just something that's always appealed to me, and here is a case of a cat that is 19 years old and has lived in a hardware store for 15 years. That is so awesome.
This is what happens when you get bored and have a colicky baby. Pretty cute, actually.
I think if more companies did this, the world would be more awesome. This is seriously awesome.
There was a tree in Brooklyn called "The Vagina Tree" because it, well, looked like a vagina. Hurricane Irene decided this would never do and knocked it down. Poor Vagina Tree.
Of course someone would be offended by the most awesome cutting board in the history of everything ever, but I'm not, because it's pretty freaking terrific. S thinks so, too. Also, I discovered that ThinkGeek already has them in their inventory yesterday morning, so I am now biding my time until I can afford to completely furnish my kitchen with ThinkGeek merchandise.
And now I'm finally done with this post, which took about four hours, due to having a very long phone call when I was halfway done.
Anyway, so I'm not terribly able to keep up anything like a posting schedule, as I'm generally in a hazy stupor. So I'm doing a lot of reading, which has caused me to accumulate a large number of links. So there's going to be a rather impressive link round-up at the end of this post.
Let's see, a whole fat lot of nothing has been happening this week. I did update my OkCupid account yesterday, but that doesn't mean anything, as I'm not terribly sure I'm interested in using it. I mostly updated it because I had nothing else to do, and it kept me briefly entertained. Honestly, after that last guy from there, I'm not entirely sure I trust OkCupid - there seem to be a disproportionately large quantity of assholes on the site. In any case, that's what I spent a good bit of yesterday doing.
It finally rained yesterday, bringing tolerable temperatures to the area, which is very nice. I went and stood outside in the rain for awhile, and after it rained, Girl Child went outside to mess around and we found some snails, so I took a whole bunch of pictures of her holding them so S would finally have some more recent photos of her. I also got some photos that are of just the snails and her hands, and got permission from S to post one, so here's a picture of a tiny snail on Girl Child's hand:
 |
| Woo for snails! I am so glad she didn't try to make me touch it. |
There's going to be a detailed photo of the snail itself on the Photo Gallery page, if there's any interest to see extreme snail-y detail.
Anyway. Nothing exciting is happening. I washed my hair last night before going to bed and woke up with a giant tangled frizzy fluffball. I don't know how this happens. Hermione keeps trying to possess me, but all she manages to get to stick is her damn hair. Well, she can keep her hair! Take it back! Oh my god. I've tried using the boar bristle brush to distribute the sebum to the ends of my hair in the hope that that would be helpful, but all that did was make it stand on end more. I look like I've been electrocuted!
So, in other news, I received a call from E the other day. I hope she doesn't mind me posting about this, but I don't think anyone she knows reads this blog, especially since her mother has me hidden from her news feed on Facebook because of my prodigious use of the word "fuck". But I digress.
E was crying when she called me. I already knew about this at the time that I posted about going to Topeka, but hadn't mentioned it yet, but since it's now a thing... Anyway, E had her doctor do the genetic test for breast cancer. I don't know if he did both BRCA1 and BRCA2, but she is at risk - most of her mother's female relatives have had it by the time they were 50, including her mother, so I can see why she'd want to know, but at the same time, it's rather worrisome, because it makes me wonder if her insurance company will cover treatment if she develops it at some point in the next 50 years, since American insurance companies will do that to you.
Anyway, I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. I feel for her, but am I supposed to go on acting like everything will be fine? That's been my approach so far, and I think it's helping her. Maybe. I know I don't intend to treat her like she's going to die, since her chances range from 56% to 87% of her contracting it by the time she's 70. Maybe she won't get it until she's 67 or something. I know I'm not going to treat her like a time bomb, or in any other way that is different from how I have treated her for the past 15 years. Even if she does develop cancer when she's 35, she's still the person she was before, not a disease.
Well, that was depressing.
In other things for me to worry about with E, she and her husband have agreed to divorce. He's also stopped saying that he wants to take her to court, because most of the belongings they have were acquired by E before the marriage, and all that would happen would be that he would have a lot less stuff than before. I think this is a fairly sensible course of action, and a lot better than the previously childish behavior he was displaying when E first made it apparent that she wanted a divorce. However, this does not absolve his previous behavior, and I am not even slightly impressed by him. I hope, if she ever gets married again, that she marries an actual adult next time, and not a man-child. At least that's good news, sort of. I mean, getting divorced sucks, but at least she's not sentencing herself to a lifetime of misery instead of facing and dealing with the issue.
I tried to call her this morning, but she didn't answer the phone, either because she was busy or because she didn't recognize the number, since I called from the house phone and not my cell phone. She called while I was writing this post and we talked for a very long time about lots of different things. It was nice, we haven't done that in a long time.
I've been amusing myself by pressing on my sinuses in my cheeks, because it makes my nose feel like it's being strangled. It's kind of a cool sensation, actually. I imagine that's weird.
I've allowed myself to fall behind on the laundry, mostly due to the lethargy that comes with allergies and sleep deprivation. This sucks, but hopefully I'll feel a little better in a few days and will be able to keep up with it again. Please.
I think I'm going to take a walk today, since it's so nice out. That'll be different.
I recently took photos of the giant spider that lives right outside the living room window eating a cicada. It's actually pretty cool, and if I wasn't terrified of the spider, I'd go outside in the early mornings and get pictures of it from that angle, but I'm simply not able to do that. That layer of glass between us is the only thing that allows me to photograph it at all. It is a pretty interesting thing to observe, though. Also, S says that it's just an orb weaver, which is a pretty common spider. According to her. Because I have no idea. I know what black widows look like, and I can sometimes identify brown recluse spiders, and jumping spiders because they're easy, but the rest are "OMG KILL IT" and tarantulas. Except for those spiders that eat birds in Australia. Those make me want to move to a space station permanently. Anyway, spider picture.
 |
| "Nom nom nom!" says the spider. "Aaaarghblbaaahsghghff!" says the cicada. |
Anyway, I have links. I have about 20, actually, due to the fact that I don't stop reading things like Fark just because I haven't written a blog post. Also, my head feels like a water balloon from the incredible amount of sinus pressure I'm developing at an exponential rate.
Links Round-Up
I'm starting with the saddest stuff first today, so there'll be less sad at the end.
There are a lot of articles about 9/11 lately, since the 10th anniversary is coming up, and one of them was about the photographer who took the famous "Falling Man" picture, and how everything surrounding the photo and that day have affected him, and it also talks about how powerful the image is. That's one of the more heartbreaking photos I've seen from September 11th. The explosions, the people running in the streets, none of that is as gut-wrenching as looking at that photograph.
In addition to the article about the Falling Man photograph, I also found an article about surviving twins from the attacks - 46 people who were twins died, and their surviving siblings have been trying to figure out how to go on with their lives after suddenly becoming an "I" instead of a "we".
Apparently a whole lot of people would rather feel safe than have their rights. That's really scary. I will never trade my rights for more security. That's how things like the Patriot Act happen.
Why, why would someone have to go to jail for overdue library books? I can't imagine what the motivation is and I'm horrified that this happened. What's next? The death penalty if you lose a few over the course of your patronage at the library? This is why our libraries are disappearing.
This guy is seriously fucked up. Also, this makes me never want to own a computer with a webcam again. I wonder if the government has the ability to do that. That's a seriously scary thought.
There's a 10 year old child who lives in a small town and has identified as female since toddlerhood, despite being biologically male. Her parents, when they talk about their children, say they have two daughters, and she is allowed to dress how she pleases and decorate her bedroom in a feminine way, as well. The only dissenter is her grandfather. I think she's very lucky, and I wish her all the best in her future.
Some bigoted asshole thinks it might be psychologically damaging for children to witness diversity being welcomed on national television, and advises against allowing any children to watch Chaz Bono (Cher's son) on Dancing With The Stars. Also, how is seeing a transgendered person on television going to affect the sexual/personal identity of any children or adolescents watching the show? I think it's great that it's not being treated as a thing by the show, as it's just one of many identities a person can have. Of course this article is from Fox News.
I think it's pretty cool that advertisers are starting to be more diverse when showing commercials for their products. K-Y has a commercial following their current trend of couples talking, but showing a lesbian couple this time. It's not any different at all from any of their commercials featuring heterosexual couples, and I think that's wonderful. Maybe things will be okay and acceptance is in store for the LGBT community. Also, the slideshow of commercials on this article are worth watching, particularly the John Hancock Financial Services commercial, which made me cry.
I found a very old article about Lane Bryant while researching the origins of the company a few days ago, talking about the controversy surrounding a lingerie ad that was supposed to be aired during prime-time slots, alongside very similar Victoria's Secret ads. But of course, the networks had a problem with the Lane Bryant ad, what with the very healthy, voluptuous, sexy woman in the commercial, while the walking clothes hangers in the Victoria's Secret spots received no criticism at all. Obviously we're having a problem here figuring out what is sexy. Personally, I do not think a woman who has protruding hip bones, ribs, shoulders, and everything else is a sexy person. Anorexia is not hot. My personal, ultimate goal for the weight loss I'd like to achieve is to look like that Lane Bryant model. Because shit. She is HOT. Oh my god.
I'm voting for Obama this election, and this is why. At least he's not trying to take away more of my rights. This terrifies the hell out of me. I'm not sure what candidates the other parties have, but because everyone is so complacent in this country, there will never be any real change to the world because no one cares enough to make it happen or elect someone that might be able to fix this mess. I really do think we need a complete overhaul of our government system, this is ridiculous. I want to only elect people who pay attention to the needs and wants of the people they're supposed to be representing, or maybe we should just get rid of Congress altogether so that way the general public can vote on every law that goes through and whether it should be a law or not. I don't know. I'm not really educated enough to figure out what the solution to this would be, but I don't think it has anything to do with keeping the same corrupt, self-serving rich assholes in office. In any case, I want to keep my reproductive rights, so none of the people that are Republican candidates for president are getting my vote. I just find it hilarious that this is what Republican has come to mean, because they used to be the polar opposite of this.
Also, speaking of reproductive rights, a judge in Texas blocked parts of a new abortion law that was ready to take effect on September 1. The law would have forced every woman who wanted an abortion to view a sonogram of her fetus/embryo and listen to its heartbeat, without exception for a woman who was the victim of rape or incest. If she was, and did not wish to view a sonogram (duh), she would have to certify in writing exactly why she didn't want to do that. I would imagine that anyone who was having an abortion would probably not want to view a sonogram. Apparently it's more important to protect the rights of a cluster of cells than the woman incubating them these days, and honestly, I don't see how that cluster of cells is more important that my wants. Once it becomes a viable living baby, we'll talk. Also, the Justice Department is starting to crack down on abortion protesters harassing women who are entering the clinics. I love how abortion protesters don't even think for a second that a woman might go into a Planned Parenthood to get a pap smear, or renew her birth control prescription, or to get free condoms, or any of the other things that happen at Planned Parenthood that have nothing to do with an abortion. For fuck's sake, people, get a grip and stop this insanity. It is no one's business but the individual's if they want an abortion. Back the hell off.
Some assholes decided to teach a female smoker a "lesson". Did you know that cigarettes actually release less harmful chemicals and gases into the air than, say, cars? And the truck in the video obviously had some illegal modifications done to it. I hope that woman called the cops or something, because she definitely did not deserve that. This is why I am against anti-smoking laws. Who cares if they are smoking? I think it's fine if people are smoking outside of public gathering places. I'm still working on quitting, so I can speak from the perspective of a smoker. I have never been comfortable smoking in bars and restaurants that allow it, preferring to go outside. I'm always mindful of blowing the smoke away from others as much as possible. I try to be as fucking considerate as possible, but these guys? If they did that shit to me, I'd hunt them down and blow an entire pack's worth of smoke directly into their eyeballs. And then kick them in their balls. Fuck you, anonymous truck-driving assholes.
I really like wildlife photography. It's not something that I sit around and talk about at length or anything, because that's just not very interesting, but sometimes there are photographs that just grab you and scream to be talked about. These photos of lions are some of that kind of photograph. The facial expressions are just incredible. Lions are beautiful.
Also, desert sunset photos. Because this particular jet trail looks like a tornado, and these are beautiful photographs.
I really like the concept of store pets. It's just something that's always appealed to me, and here is a case of a cat that is 19 years old and has lived in a hardware store for 15 years. That is so awesome.
This is what happens when you get bored and have a colicky baby. Pretty cute, actually.
I think if more companies did this, the world would be more awesome. This is seriously awesome.
There was a tree in Brooklyn called "The Vagina Tree" because it, well, looked like a vagina. Hurricane Irene decided this would never do and knocked it down. Poor Vagina Tree.
Of course someone would be offended by the most awesome cutting board in the history of everything ever, but I'm not, because it's pretty freaking terrific. S thinks so, too. Also, I discovered that ThinkGeek already has them in their inventory yesterday morning, so I am now biding my time until I can afford to completely furnish my kitchen with ThinkGeek merchandise.
And now I'm finally done with this post, which took about four hours, due to having a very long phone call when I was halfway done.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Laundry, Tattoos, Video Games, and Politics
So, this is kind of a boring post until after the links round up, so if you don't care about my daily life or what tattoos I want, just skip to that part.
I went crazy sorting the laundry last night and organized it by type. Girl Child and I now share a hamper for what she doesn't wash herself and all my stuff, the Toddler has his own hamper for his clothes and sheets and stuff, and J and S each have their own basket because a lot of their stuff dirty right now. I'd intended to combine it, but that was impossible. Today, I have washed all the towels in the house and all of the Toddler's clothes, and am currently working on a mixed load of sheets and other random household stuff, plus one of M's towels that S borrowed last night because we were out of towels. I'm such a slacker. I also folded a ton of laundry yesterday evening between the time J got up and the Toddler went to bed, so I also got to have loud music and lots of really loud singing. This coincided with Girl Child doing some dishes, so there was also presumably singing coming from the kitchen, so I can only imagine what the living room sounded like for J and S. Haha.
I just switched out the plastic drawer bin that has been the Toddler's toybox for the last several months for two of my totes that had all my yarn and crocheting supplies in them - now my yarn is in the drawers (the only thing that didn't fit was the pillows I still haven't made covers for) and his toys are in one bin, and he's currently in the other bin. It'll have his stuffed animals in it later, once he goes to bed.
I finally returned one of my library books today, and discovered that I can't use the self-check or place holds online anymore because of my fines. Fail. But I can still check stuff out, so long as I don't accrue fines, so I'm going to check to see if the hold on the Nora Roberts book I've been wanting to read is still intact, because I would be very upset if I lost my place in line. It'd be my own fault, though. (I just checked - I still have my position, and I'm in 17th place, so my hold should become available in a week or two, yay!)
I've been working on a list of things the Toddler is really quirky about lately. He can't stand having a door be open, for instance. If he finds a door that is open, he must close it. This is most unfortunate when it's the bathroom door when the doorknob has fallen out of it, because this makes the person using the bathroom unable to get out of it without assistance if they happen to forget to take the knob in with them. (Me.) He also has a compulsive need to close any drawers that he finds open, but he also needs to open my dresser and "rearrange" my clothing. This usually means that my clean clothes get put in the dirty laundry sometimes, or he'll randomly put dirty clothes in my dresser. Sometimes it kind of sucks to have my dresser in the hallway, but at least I have it at all. He also can't stand it when S's computer goes to a screensaver - he'll run over and move the mouse or hit keys until it stops. He also hates it when the laptops are partially open. He'll either try to open it (potentially flipping it off the TV tray), or he'll slam it closed. He's also taken to demanding that the baby monitor be turned off if he sees that it's on when he's not in bed, and demanding that it be turned on when he's about to go to bed.
Now, some of these behaviors can get really irritating sometimes, but mostly they're just rather hilarious, and they're interesting personality quirks that make me wonder what he'll be like when he's older. I love that kid.
Recently, I made a list of all the tattoos I want for a Facebook meme that I still haven't done - it turns out that I actually want quite a bit more tattoos than I thought I did! I designed a celestial symbol about two years ago that I want on my left arm, and I'm going to put a Jecht symbol right above it (Final Fantasy X and X-2). On my right arm, I'm going to get those Chinese symbols done that S reproduced for me, in right about that spot. On my back, at the base of my neck, I'm getting the sign of the Deathly Hallows, and below that, I'm getting the Royal Crest from the Legend of Zelda games. I'm getting an owl right above my right ankle, and S designed a viney thing for me a few months ago, but I'm not sure where I want it yet. I'm also thinking about getting a penguin to match my owl for my other leg, possibly some stars on my right foot, and maybe an ankh somewhere. Wow, tattoo-tastic!
I like making lists.
Today's been pretty decent. Girl Child left for her great-grandmother's this morning, even though the poor thing is getting her wisdom teeth in and is in a ridiculous amount of pain. I think she's pretty excited about it, though. Maybe. I got her to put her clothes away for me before she left, which makes me happy, because now I'm not going to be without a basket until she comes home. I also worked on her file for Final Fantasy X because she never activated the Celestial Mirror and was all the way to Yunalesca and was unable to defeat her. I've also gotten everyone but Kimahri in overdrive mode (I never, ever use Kimahri unless I'm being forced to), and leveled everyone up a little bit - I may run around a bit more for her later so Lulu will have Flare, because it's nice to be able to do non-elemental damage! The Toddler's been exceptionally obnoxious today, partly because his nap consisted of sleeping on me for about twenty minutes.
Honestly, I don't know if today was decent or just boring. It's mostly been laundry, video games, and temper tantrums. However, last night I discovered I can lift Girl Child over my shoulder and carry her around like I'm a fireman. She weighs about 130 pounds and is taller than me. I AMSUPERMAN SUPER WOMAN!!! Holy crap, I am strong. I had no idea. I still can't hold a gallon of milk in my hand very long, or do anything that requires wrist strength because I simply lack the muscles in my wrists, but my back and upper arms are very strong... apparently. (I discovered this after Girl Child was poking me incessantly, and decided to try to pick her up and carry her across the room and put her somewhere... and I could.)
I have a few links to post, and some of them have sparked outrage for me.
Links Round-Up
Okay, this makes me angry. Really, really FUCKING angry. This man is more concerned with making Obama a one-term president than he is in trying to fix some of the royally fucked up problems this country is having. Seriously, your primary goal is to get Obama out of the White House? What about raising taxes to get us out of this mess of debt? What about some true educational reform instead of this No Child Left Behind bullshit? I don't want fucktards like this running my country. He doesn't give two flying shits about the debt ceiling or the economy disintegrating before our very eyes, he just wants to get rid of a president that seems like he actually cares and wants to bring some true change so he can just keep his cush, two days a week job doing a bunch of bullshit and generally being a corrupt asshole.
Speaking of Congress being a two day a week job, Congress decided to go on a month-long vacation without doing anything about the FAA's complete lack of funding. A political writer and blogger wrote a speech he's dying to see Obama give to Congress for their complete lack of responsibility. I have to say, I quite agree with him, and honestly, I think the whole political system needs a complete overhaul. Just because it worked 250-ish years ago, does not mean it works now. I am really unhappy with politicians not caring what the people they're supposed to represent want, because I thought that that was what they were there for, not to pursue their own agenda. I say we get rid of Congress and all those other corrupt people and just have a lot of voting days where the American public gets to vote on the issues at hand and decide for themselves how they want the country to be. Seriously.
In other outrage-tastic news, Fox News apparently thinks giving battered women the help they will need to get out of those situations and providing easy access to proper women's healthcare is as frivolous as getting a pedicure. Really? Really?! I am so angry at these people.
I feel so bad for this girl, and cannot believe the school district is standing behind this. I hope she wins a big fat settlement and goes to an awesome college and becomes their bosses and fires the shit out of them.
I don't know who I feel more sorry for in this case, the little girl who was kidnapped and adopted fraudulently, the couple who adopted her that apparently didn't know she was kidnapped, or her birth mother, who has missed the last five years of her kid's life. (Also, the girl's adoptive parents are from the North Kansas City area, which was a bit shocking to me, as it came completely unexpectedly.)
And, for a palate cleanser, here are some awesome storm cloud pictures from Canada.
I went crazy sorting the laundry last night and organized it by type. Girl Child and I now share a hamper for what she doesn't wash herself and all my stuff, the Toddler has his own hamper for his clothes and sheets and stuff, and J and S each have their own basket because a lot of their stuff dirty right now. I'd intended to combine it, but that was impossible. Today, I have washed all the towels in the house and all of the Toddler's clothes, and am currently working on a mixed load of sheets and other random household stuff, plus one of M's towels that S borrowed last night because we were out of towels. I'm such a slacker. I also folded a ton of laundry yesterday evening between the time J got up and the Toddler went to bed, so I also got to have loud music and lots of really loud singing. This coincided with Girl Child doing some dishes, so there was also presumably singing coming from the kitchen, so I can only imagine what the living room sounded like for J and S. Haha.
I just switched out the plastic drawer bin that has been the Toddler's toybox for the last several months for two of my totes that had all my yarn and crocheting supplies in them - now my yarn is in the drawers (the only thing that didn't fit was the pillows I still haven't made covers for) and his toys are in one bin, and he's currently in the other bin. It'll have his stuffed animals in it later, once he goes to bed.
I finally returned one of my library books today, and discovered that I can't use the self-check or place holds online anymore because of my fines. Fail. But I can still check stuff out, so long as I don't accrue fines, so I'm going to check to see if the hold on the Nora Roberts book I've been wanting to read is still intact, because I would be very upset if I lost my place in line. It'd be my own fault, though. (I just checked - I still have my position, and I'm in 17th place, so my hold should become available in a week or two, yay!)
I've been working on a list of things the Toddler is really quirky about lately. He can't stand having a door be open, for instance. If he finds a door that is open, he must close it. This is most unfortunate when it's the bathroom door when the doorknob has fallen out of it, because this makes the person using the bathroom unable to get out of it without assistance if they happen to forget to take the knob in with them. (Me.) He also has a compulsive need to close any drawers that he finds open, but he also needs to open my dresser and "rearrange" my clothing. This usually means that my clean clothes get put in the dirty laundry sometimes, or he'll randomly put dirty clothes in my dresser. Sometimes it kind of sucks to have my dresser in the hallway, but at least I have it at all. He also can't stand it when S's computer goes to a screensaver - he'll run over and move the mouse or hit keys until it stops. He also hates it when the laptops are partially open. He'll either try to open it (potentially flipping it off the TV tray), or he'll slam it closed. He's also taken to demanding that the baby monitor be turned off if he sees that it's on when he's not in bed, and demanding that it be turned on when he's about to go to bed.
Now, some of these behaviors can get really irritating sometimes, but mostly they're just rather hilarious, and they're interesting personality quirks that make me wonder what he'll be like when he's older. I love that kid.
Recently, I made a list of all the tattoos I want for a Facebook meme that I still haven't done - it turns out that I actually want quite a bit more tattoos than I thought I did! I designed a celestial symbol about two years ago that I want on my left arm, and I'm going to put a Jecht symbol right above it (Final Fantasy X and X-2). On my right arm, I'm going to get those Chinese symbols done that S reproduced for me, in right about that spot. On my back, at the base of my neck, I'm getting the sign of the Deathly Hallows, and below that, I'm getting the Royal Crest from the Legend of Zelda games. I'm getting an owl right above my right ankle, and S designed a viney thing for me a few months ago, but I'm not sure where I want it yet. I'm also thinking about getting a penguin to match my owl for my other leg, possibly some stars on my right foot, and maybe an ankh somewhere. Wow, tattoo-tastic!
I like making lists.
Today's been pretty decent. Girl Child left for her great-grandmother's this morning, even though the poor thing is getting her wisdom teeth in and is in a ridiculous amount of pain. I think she's pretty excited about it, though. Maybe. I got her to put her clothes away for me before she left, which makes me happy, because now I'm not going to be without a basket until she comes home. I also worked on her file for Final Fantasy X because she never activated the Celestial Mirror and was all the way to Yunalesca and was unable to defeat her. I've also gotten everyone but Kimahri in overdrive mode (I never, ever use Kimahri unless I'm being forced to), and leveled everyone up a little bit - I may run around a bit more for her later so Lulu will have Flare, because it's nice to be able to do non-elemental damage! The Toddler's been exceptionally obnoxious today, partly because his nap consisted of sleeping on me for about twenty minutes.
Honestly, I don't know if today was decent or just boring. It's mostly been laundry, video games, and temper tantrums. However, last night I discovered I can lift Girl Child over my shoulder and carry her around like I'm a fireman. She weighs about 130 pounds and is taller than me. I AM
I have a few links to post, and some of them have sparked outrage for me.
Links Round-Up
Okay, this makes me angry. Really, really FUCKING angry. This man is more concerned with making Obama a one-term president than he is in trying to fix some of the royally fucked up problems this country is having. Seriously, your primary goal is to get Obama out of the White House? What about raising taxes to get us out of this mess of debt? What about some true educational reform instead of this No Child Left Behind bullshit? I don't want fucktards like this running my country. He doesn't give two flying shits about the debt ceiling or the economy disintegrating before our very eyes, he just wants to get rid of a president that seems like he actually cares and wants to bring some true change so he can just keep his cush, two days a week job doing a bunch of bullshit and generally being a corrupt asshole.
Speaking of Congress being a two day a week job, Congress decided to go on a month-long vacation without doing anything about the FAA's complete lack of funding. A political writer and blogger wrote a speech he's dying to see Obama give to Congress for their complete lack of responsibility. I have to say, I quite agree with him, and honestly, I think the whole political system needs a complete overhaul. Just because it worked 250-ish years ago, does not mean it works now. I am really unhappy with politicians not caring what the people they're supposed to represent want, because I thought that that was what they were there for, not to pursue their own agenda. I say we get rid of Congress and all those other corrupt people and just have a lot of voting days where the American public gets to vote on the issues at hand and decide for themselves how they want the country to be. Seriously.
In other outrage-tastic news, Fox News apparently thinks giving battered women the help they will need to get out of those situations and providing easy access to proper women's healthcare is as frivolous as getting a pedicure. Really? Really?! I am so angry at these people.
I feel so bad for this girl, and cannot believe the school district is standing behind this. I hope she wins a big fat settlement and goes to an awesome college and becomes their bosses and fires the shit out of them.
I don't know who I feel more sorry for in this case, the little girl who was kidnapped and adopted fraudulently, the couple who adopted her that apparently didn't know she was kidnapped, or her birth mother, who has missed the last five years of her kid's life. (Also, the girl's adoptive parents are from the North Kansas City area, which was a bit shocking to me, as it came completely unexpectedly.)
And, for a palate cleanser, here are some awesome storm cloud pictures from Canada.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Personal Choices, Indoctrination, and Sex Education: A Rant
Okay, it's soapbox time.
In my last post, I mentioned that I had partially written an essay about my experience with sex education in school. Today, I was spurred to write another essay about militant veganism, which caused me to decide to finish writing (read that as completely rewrite) the first essay. And now, here they are, in all their ranty, bitchy glory:
It's Not Your Business: A Rant
I don't tolerate people who are militant about their beliefs very well. I don't care if you don't want to eat meat, or honey, or eggs, that's your business. It's when you get in my business, like in the case of this submission on Passive-Aggressive Notes, that I have a problem with your beliefs/lifestyle.
This is why, if I ever change living situations from my current one, I will ensure that the eating habits of the potential roommate are similar enough to mine to not cause conflict (as well as having similar lifestyles), or I will make it very clear that it is not their business what I eat, nor should it be my business what they eat, just as it is not anyone's business how our lifestyles are conducted, so long as the activities of the people living in the dwelling do not affect the ability of the people they share living space with to conduct their life in a normal way. I don't give a shit what you put into your body. If you are not family or someone whose well-being I am responsible for, it is your business what you choose to put into your body, or on your body, or what you buy from the store. I do not care. That also means that you should not care, and if you have a problem with what I'm eating, you damn well better keep it to yourself.
In a roommate situation, the dwelling's common areas are, in fact, common. This means that the living room, dining room, bathroom (if there is only one), and kitchen are for use of everyone living in the dwelling. If this means that you divide the cupboards up equally so as to keep everything separate and only use your own food, then that is what you do, and you do not bitch about your roommate's dietary habits consisting entirely of Mountain Dew, Cheez-Whiz, and Twinkies. Why? Because it's not your business! It's not your body, they are not your responsibility, and it is not your job to care. Same goes for someone who has a philosophical objection to eating or using animal-based products. If you don't want to eat meat because you have a problem with it, that's fine, but don't expect me to quit eating it because it upsets you. That's going too far. I am not that politically correct, and I do not expect anyone else to be that accomodating, either. I won't stop you from eating tofu or crickets or anything else I find repulsive, so long as you don't expect me to eat it or expect me to change my eating habits for you.
Basically, everyone leave everyone else the hell alone unless what they are doing is actually causing you a problem (like having a loud party all night when you need to get up at the crack of dawn for work). It's not your business.
And now, an even longer one about how I was woefully uneducated about my own body.
How Being Indoctrinated Nearly Fucked Up My Life
I learned everything that I know about sex and my body from the internet.
This means that the education system failed me. I didn't know I had a vagina until a few weeks before I got my first period. I wasn't sure why I was having periods in the first place, and certainly didn't connect it to fertility or babies. They were just kind of there, part of the landscape.
My sexual education in school mostly consisted of a short video talking about the body parts, which I didn't remember anything about, and how bad STDs are and how you should never have sex outside of marriage. (We never learned anything specific about the various kinds of STD, just that they were bad. In fact, my knowledge of them is still woefully incomplete.) That's what I was taught every year in school from 4th grade through 9th grade, with varying degrees of explanation, and never learned anything that would actually be useful to me in the real world. Then there was the pro-life seminar.
This was a seminar that happened when I was in the 6th grade at the Catholic school I attended. There was a special speaker to talk to the whole 6th grade (all of about 50 kids), a video, and promotional materials, which included bumper stickers and lapel pins with itty bitty baby feet on them.
This seminar provided me with no knowledge of what abortion was, just that it was wrong and the best thing in the world was to be pro-life. I had no basis for understanding it, didn't know it was a medical procedure, or any of the many, many reasons why a woman might choose to have one done. I was told I was supposed to be pro-life because that's what God wanted, and they needed people to spread the message, and of course children are the best means to spread something like that, since they are easy to indoctrinate.
When I started 7th grade, I was attending public school for the first time, and became friends with a few girls whose primary goal was to lose their virginity as quickly as possible. I only had the vaguest concept of what virginity meant, or what a virgin was, even though I was brought up Catholic and obviously we talked about the Virgin Mary on a regular basis, but a virgin was never explained to me as a concept. I just assumed it was her title or something, like Queen Elizabeth, and didn't pay it any attention. Of course, being susceptible to peer pressure and the opinions of people I wanted to like me, I wanted to lose mine as quickly as possible, too, even though I didn't understand what it meant.
I lost my virginity in 2001, two weeks before I turned 14. Yes, it was my decision, and I was the one who instigated it, but I definitely was not ready to be having sex. I didn't know how to have sex, I didn't understand sex, and I didn't even enjoy it. I wasn't even sure how everything was supposed to fit together, either, and didn't really connect it with getting pregnant in more than an abstract sense. I was also under the delusion that getting pregnant was a good idea, so I wanted to have a baby as soon as possible so I'd have someone to love me, which is one of the most fucked-up reasons to have a child ever, and I am so glad that I didn't become a mother when I was a teenager.
Here's another aspect of my complete lack of knowledge: I had no idea how to take care of my parts. I didn't know how to keep them clean, or make sure to avoid things like yeast infections or other problems. I didn't understand condoms, either. I am incredibly lucky that I did not catch a disease or get pregnant.
When I was about 15, I joined LiveJournal, and with it came the various communities that were once vastly popular on the website. (This was before Facebook and before people widely used Google, or at least before I knew how to use Google.) One of these communities was Vagina Pagina, which taught me everything that I was not taught in school - useful information like what the hell a labia actually was, and that you do not pee out of your vagina, as I had assumed as a small child. I was lucky, too, because this was the best community I could have gone to to learn all of the things I didn't know about my own body. There were no myths. There were explanations for why things work the way they do, recommendations on how to keep track of and predict a period, and pretty much everything else my mother or my school should have taught me before that point in my life. I learned about abortions and why they are important, and used this information to form my own opinions on the subject, as I did with many other subjects covered by this community. (In recent years, I've done independent research, now that I have Google powers, on things like home birth, midwifery, breastfeeding, and gay rights and have formed my own opinions and convictions on those subjects as well, but Vagina Pagina really opened the door for me becoming who I am today.)
I am a product of abstinence-only sexual education. It's not doing anyone any good, and I'm one of the lucky ones who didn't manage to fuck up my life in some way because of it, and I managed to properly educate myself independently.
This doesn't even cover the incredible amount of indoctrination I received with regard to religion and DARE, but I will bitch heartily about that at another time.
In my last post, I mentioned that I had partially written an essay about my experience with sex education in school. Today, I was spurred to write another essay about militant veganism, which caused me to decide to finish writing (read that as completely rewrite) the first essay. And now, here they are, in all their ranty, bitchy glory:
It's Not Your Business: A Rant
I don't tolerate people who are militant about their beliefs very well. I don't care if you don't want to eat meat, or honey, or eggs, that's your business. It's when you get in my business, like in the case of this submission on Passive-Aggressive Notes, that I have a problem with your beliefs/lifestyle.
This is why, if I ever change living situations from my current one, I will ensure that the eating habits of the potential roommate are similar enough to mine to not cause conflict (as well as having similar lifestyles), or I will make it very clear that it is not their business what I eat, nor should it be my business what they eat, just as it is not anyone's business how our lifestyles are conducted, so long as the activities of the people living in the dwelling do not affect the ability of the people they share living space with to conduct their life in a normal way. I don't give a shit what you put into your body. If you are not family or someone whose well-being I am responsible for, it is your business what you choose to put into your body, or on your body, or what you buy from the store. I do not care. That also means that you should not care, and if you have a problem with what I'm eating, you damn well better keep it to yourself.
In a roommate situation, the dwelling's common areas are, in fact, common. This means that the living room, dining room, bathroom (if there is only one), and kitchen are for use of everyone living in the dwelling. If this means that you divide the cupboards up equally so as to keep everything separate and only use your own food, then that is what you do, and you do not bitch about your roommate's dietary habits consisting entirely of Mountain Dew, Cheez-Whiz, and Twinkies. Why? Because it's not your business! It's not your body, they are not your responsibility, and it is not your job to care. Same goes for someone who has a philosophical objection to eating or using animal-based products. If you don't want to eat meat because you have a problem with it, that's fine, but don't expect me to quit eating it because it upsets you. That's going too far. I am not that politically correct, and I do not expect anyone else to be that accomodating, either. I won't stop you from eating tofu or crickets or anything else I find repulsive, so long as you don't expect me to eat it or expect me to change my eating habits for you.
Basically, everyone leave everyone else the hell alone unless what they are doing is actually causing you a problem (like having a loud party all night when you need to get up at the crack of dawn for work). It's not your business.
And now, an even longer one about how I was woefully uneducated about my own body.
How Being Indoctrinated Nearly Fucked Up My Life
I learned everything that I know about sex and my body from the internet.
This means that the education system failed me. I didn't know I had a vagina until a few weeks before I got my first period. I wasn't sure why I was having periods in the first place, and certainly didn't connect it to fertility or babies. They were just kind of there, part of the landscape.
My sexual education in school mostly consisted of a short video talking about the body parts, which I didn't remember anything about, and how bad STDs are and how you should never have sex outside of marriage. (We never learned anything specific about the various kinds of STD, just that they were bad. In fact, my knowledge of them is still woefully incomplete.) That's what I was taught every year in school from 4th grade through 9th grade, with varying degrees of explanation, and never learned anything that would actually be useful to me in the real world. Then there was the pro-life seminar.
This was a seminar that happened when I was in the 6th grade at the Catholic school I attended. There was a special speaker to talk to the whole 6th grade (all of about 50 kids), a video, and promotional materials, which included bumper stickers and lapel pins with itty bitty baby feet on them.
This seminar provided me with no knowledge of what abortion was, just that it was wrong and the best thing in the world was to be pro-life. I had no basis for understanding it, didn't know it was a medical procedure, or any of the many, many reasons why a woman might choose to have one done. I was told I was supposed to be pro-life because that's what God wanted, and they needed people to spread the message, and of course children are the best means to spread something like that, since they are easy to indoctrinate.
When I started 7th grade, I was attending public school for the first time, and became friends with a few girls whose primary goal was to lose their virginity as quickly as possible. I only had the vaguest concept of what virginity meant, or what a virgin was, even though I was brought up Catholic and obviously we talked about the Virgin Mary on a regular basis, but a virgin was never explained to me as a concept. I just assumed it was her title or something, like Queen Elizabeth, and didn't pay it any attention. Of course, being susceptible to peer pressure and the opinions of people I wanted to like me, I wanted to lose mine as quickly as possible, too, even though I didn't understand what it meant.
I lost my virginity in 2001, two weeks before I turned 14. Yes, it was my decision, and I was the one who instigated it, but I definitely was not ready to be having sex. I didn't know how to have sex, I didn't understand sex, and I didn't even enjoy it. I wasn't even sure how everything was supposed to fit together, either, and didn't really connect it with getting pregnant in more than an abstract sense. I was also under the delusion that getting pregnant was a good idea, so I wanted to have a baby as soon as possible so I'd have someone to love me, which is one of the most fucked-up reasons to have a child ever, and I am so glad that I didn't become a mother when I was a teenager.
Here's another aspect of my complete lack of knowledge: I had no idea how to take care of my parts. I didn't know how to keep them clean, or make sure to avoid things like yeast infections or other problems. I didn't understand condoms, either. I am incredibly lucky that I did not catch a disease or get pregnant.
When I was about 15, I joined LiveJournal, and with it came the various communities that were once vastly popular on the website. (This was before Facebook and before people widely used Google, or at least before I knew how to use Google.) One of these communities was Vagina Pagina, which taught me everything that I was not taught in school - useful information like what the hell a labia actually was, and that you do not pee out of your vagina, as I had assumed as a small child. I was lucky, too, because this was the best community I could have gone to to learn all of the things I didn't know about my own body. There were no myths. There were explanations for why things work the way they do, recommendations on how to keep track of and predict a period, and pretty much everything else my mother or my school should have taught me before that point in my life. I learned about abortions and why they are important, and used this information to form my own opinions on the subject, as I did with many other subjects covered by this community. (In recent years, I've done independent research, now that I have Google powers, on things like home birth, midwifery, breastfeeding, and gay rights and have formed my own opinions and convictions on those subjects as well, but Vagina Pagina really opened the door for me becoming who I am today.)
I am a product of abstinence-only sexual education. It's not doing anyone any good, and I'm one of the lucky ones who didn't manage to fuck up my life in some way because of it, and I managed to properly educate myself independently.
This doesn't even cover the incredible amount of indoctrination I received with regard to religion and DARE, but I will bitch heartily about that at another time.
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