I went to work two hours late (sanctioned) because I didn't get hardly any sleep last night, and today still managed to be tedious and long. Woo! I stood out there for an hour and a half this evening before I went home and absolutely no one would take a survey. And the ones that agreed didn't qualify for a survey. Goody!
While I was at work today, S had an equally long day rearranging the entire living room by herself. Crazy woman. It's pretty great, actually. I'm now on the other end of the couch and in the corner by the windows, and I really dig it. It feels sort of fort-ish. Ha. Anyway, she did an incredible amount of work, and between that and digging out a bunch of clothes that were by the bed in the bedroom, she definitely kicked ass today. Go S!! Also, she found my other ballet flat I've been missing for four months that I swore up and down was under the couch. It was under the couch. And she found a shirt I've been missing for almost a year, so I'm really excited to get to wear it again.
I'm attempting to catch up on the laundry, since now that I'm working, it's not really getting done and everyone is out of clothes. Joy. Sometime in the next few days I am going to have to go through and sort all the laundry so we can have J take it downstairs and we can start getting it all washed again. It's Mount Laundry in the hallway for now, though. Oh god.
I'm taking Girl Child trick or treating on Halloween, and I'm all excited because I get to wear my glow in the dark Toy Story shirt and have it actually GLOW. Yesssss.
While I was sorting the laundry out into what we need immediately tomorrow and what we can wait on for later this weekend, I got confused about some shirts, because S and I trade shirts around a lot. (We both wear huge shirts when we're just hanging out at home.) So I was trying to ask S about it, and I said her name, and she said, "Ballszilla!" Because unlike a normal person, she greets people like this sometimes. The hilarity was too much for me though, as it made me collapse laughing. And then she yelled things like, "Floor! Lamp! Wall! Dog!" and got great amusement from me laughing at this stuff. I laughed so hard and for so long that I cramped my abdominal muscles and made my entire face hurt. It was great. She and Girl Child were sitting there laughing at me laugh silently, clapping like a retarded seal. I love being here.
So today hasn't exactly been exciting or anything, but all in all a good day. I'm too tired to write anything of substance, sorry. If I could, I'd get all Link Round Up or ranty or some shit, but I'm just too exhausted to put a coherent sentence together. I may do a picture update sometime soon, though, because I need to perform a camera dump very, very soon. It's completely full. I've got pictures dating back to April on that thing.
I'm obsessed with playing Solitaire on my iPod lately. I don't know what to make of this.
And now, laundry!
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Friday, October 28, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Fat Chicks Only Wear Muu-muus in Fashion Land
Today, I found a link to a blog about finding fashionable, pretty clothing for the fuller-figured girl with very large breasts, and some of the things she wrote really struck a chord with me, so it's essay time.
I wear a size 20. Sometimes I'm an 18, or a 22, or a 24, depending on where I'm shopping, but for the most part, I am a size 20. However, if I follow the sizing chart at Lane Bryant (which is where I bought the only pair of jeans I have that fit), I wear a size 26. Funnily enough, it even has the measurements that would be accurate to my size listed as what a size 26 dress would be, but if I tried on a size 26, I would be swimming in it. Except for my boobs, probably.
Most dresses I've tried on have only fit at the chest, because I have to size up for my breasts. I am already not a thin woman. I struggle to find clothing that actually flatters my body and makes me feel good without being painful to wear or uncomfortable. It is incredibly frustrating to have to buy tents for my body because they do not make dresses for my shape. Large breasts aren't even close to being accomodated by the fashion industry, at least not if they are paired with proportionately large waists. I am never going to have a 30 inch waist again, especially not with my chest, which ranges from a 42G to a 36HH, depending on the cut and style of the bra, and the individual manufacturer. I am not going to be a size 10 ever again. I think I'll be lucky if I manage a size 12 or 14, which is my goal for when I eventually lose weight.
Even though I want to lose weight, I am still a size 20 right now, with very large boobs. I believe I deserve to feel pretty, I deserve to look nice when I want to look nice, and I am sick and tired to death of wearing nothing but enormous t-shirts because none of my clothes fit and I can't find anything in the womens' department that does. Pepperberry, Bravissimo's clothing line, doesn't even go up to my waist size. In fact, the largest size they carry is a full 10 inches smaller than my waist.
This is incredibly frustrating for me. I feel like I am being told that I do not deserve to look or feel beautiful because I am a larger girl. I am told this everywhere I go. The last guy I went on a date with basically told me that while I was good for a quick fuck, I was not good enough to be a girlfriend because I am too fat. I am tired of this. I am tired of being laughed at, I am tired of being used, and I am tired of my size and weight being a "problem". It is not a problem, or at least it is not my problem. My only real problem with my body is that I can't find anything to fit it and that my weight is causing me some health problems. This is the primary reason I want to lose weight. Not so I can feel beautiful again, not so I can get honked at while walking down the street, but so I can run again, so my tendons stop hurting, so the weight of my chest doesn't cut off my ability to breathe. I didn't even start having health problems related to my weight until I got larger than a size 16.
I want to be able to look in the mirror and think I am beautiful without worry about whether I am "too fat". I want people to stop telling me there's something wrong with me. I want people to stop telling me that I should get a breast reduction. I want the opportunity to learn to love my body, my whole body. I deserve that. Every woman deserves to love herself for what she is and not what everyone thinks she should be.
(Next post will have a link round up and maybe a little bit of stuff about life, since I haven't posted anything in over a week.)
I wear a size 20. Sometimes I'm an 18, or a 22, or a 24, depending on where I'm shopping, but for the most part, I am a size 20. However, if I follow the sizing chart at Lane Bryant (which is where I bought the only pair of jeans I have that fit), I wear a size 26. Funnily enough, it even has the measurements that would be accurate to my size listed as what a size 26 dress would be, but if I tried on a size 26, I would be swimming in it. Except for my boobs, probably.
Most dresses I've tried on have only fit at the chest, because I have to size up for my breasts. I am already not a thin woman. I struggle to find clothing that actually flatters my body and makes me feel good without being painful to wear or uncomfortable. It is incredibly frustrating to have to buy tents for my body because they do not make dresses for my shape. Large breasts aren't even close to being accomodated by the fashion industry, at least not if they are paired with proportionately large waists. I am never going to have a 30 inch waist again, especially not with my chest, which ranges from a 42G to a 36HH, depending on the cut and style of the bra, and the individual manufacturer. I am not going to be a size 10 ever again. I think I'll be lucky if I manage a size 12 or 14, which is my goal for when I eventually lose weight.
Even though I want to lose weight, I am still a size 20 right now, with very large boobs. I believe I deserve to feel pretty, I deserve to look nice when I want to look nice, and I am sick and tired to death of wearing nothing but enormous t-shirts because none of my clothes fit and I can't find anything in the womens' department that does. Pepperberry, Bravissimo's clothing line, doesn't even go up to my waist size. In fact, the largest size they carry is a full 10 inches smaller than my waist.
This is incredibly frustrating for me. I feel like I am being told that I do not deserve to look or feel beautiful because I am a larger girl. I am told this everywhere I go. The last guy I went on a date with basically told me that while I was good for a quick fuck, I was not good enough to be a girlfriend because I am too fat. I am tired of this. I am tired of being laughed at, I am tired of being used, and I am tired of my size and weight being a "problem". It is not a problem, or at least it is not my problem. My only real problem with my body is that I can't find anything to fit it and that my weight is causing me some health problems. This is the primary reason I want to lose weight. Not so I can feel beautiful again, not so I can get honked at while walking down the street, but so I can run again, so my tendons stop hurting, so the weight of my chest doesn't cut off my ability to breathe. I didn't even start having health problems related to my weight until I got larger than a size 16.
I want to be able to look in the mirror and think I am beautiful without worry about whether I am "too fat". I want people to stop telling me there's something wrong with me. I want people to stop telling me that I should get a breast reduction. I want the opportunity to learn to love my body, my whole body. I deserve that. Every woman deserves to love herself for what she is and not what everyone thinks she should be.
(Next post will have a link round up and maybe a little bit of stuff about life, since I haven't posted anything in over a week.)
Monday, August 29, 2011
Winter Clothes, Laundry Success, and Rediscovering Music
I often completely forget about the existence of some songs. I will hear a song, love it, and then years later be reminded of it (usually because of a Wikipedia trawl), and be horrified that I don't have it on my iPod. I rediscovered Gone Till November by Wyclef Jean last night while I was reading Wikipedia articles about the previous MTV Video Music Awards shows, from back when they had a huge selection of categories and were actually about music. Anyway, Gone Till November won an award in 1998, and I remember seeing the music video on MTV, because it was right around the time I started watching MTV. (That makes me old, the fact that I can remember when MTV and VH1 had actual music videos broadcasting in the daytime.) But I loved that song, and I forgot all about it, so I am very happy to have rediscovered it. Now once I get all the music off the other computer and reorganize on this computer (J is pretty sure it's the motherboard that's gone bad, but he didn't even check to see if the power button is broken or not, so it could be that, too), I will have the ability to see what I do and don't have, and make sure I haven't already gotten it and just forgotten about it. Because that would be annoying, and I tend to do that rather often.
Anyway, I finished the laundry today. My shirt also arrived, which I'm very excited about, and it's now washed and dried and sitting in my dresser waiting for me to wear it. S and I are picking up the bras tomorrow sometime, after we go to the library to print the email confirmation to prove that I am in fact the person who bought the damn things, and then there will (hopefully) be new bras! Woo! Also, folding sheets is awful and I do not recommend it to anyone who wants to keep their sanity. But there's only one load of dirty clothing right now, and I need to wash the comforters, and that is it. Everything else is clean. I can't say put away because Girl Child won't let me put her clothes away for her and all she does is stuff them in a random part of her dresser and then wonder why nothing fits. All the rest of the clothes are put away, though, except for a few of S's because the dresser simply doesn't have the capacity for more. And the closet is so full I couldn't fit another thing in there if I was Hagrid. I'm feeling pretty good about the state of the laundry, though - it's whittled down to a point where I'll only need to do about a load a day, probably.
I actually had a disagreement with Girl Child about that. She doesn't see why I should want the laundry to be completely done. Because she doesn't care, and she doesn't think it matters. Sometimes I really just want to grab her and shake her - but I'll just fantasize about shoving a banana up her nose instead. (No worries, no crabby hormonal teenagers were harmed in the making of this blog.) Besides, the banana threat worked fairly well as a laugh-inducer earlier, even if she didn't bother doing any of the things I asked her to do until I nagged her about it. I would fall over in a dead faint if I discover tomorrow that she actually bothered to put her sheets on her bed like I told her to. I'm really frustrated with her right now, can you tell?
I spent this morning baby-sitting the Toddler because S didn't get to sleep until after 4:00 this morning and he woke up at 5:30, so at 8:00, she decided to get me up and ask me to take care of him until later. She got another three hours of sleep, which I guess is something. Unfortunately, there was so little coffee left in the house that what I ended up making was like weak tea. It was very sad. J was up until about 6:00 this evening (so almost 24 hours), so I had a little back-up when I was alone with the Toddler, and the day was generally a good one. Dealing with Girl Child was frustrating, the Toddler was both a giant butthead and really sweet, J was mostly playing on his computer and quiet, and S was S. The highlight of my day was playing Final Fantasy X. I'm finally ready to admit that I'm a little over-leveled - I killed Seymour in the battle on Gagazet so quickly that I barely got everyone in on the AP for the battle.
While I was folding the laundry this afternoon, the Toddler hung out with me. I stuck him in the crib while I was playing music and managed to get a decent amount done until he decided he wanted to go back to the living room. It was actually a pretty cool way to fold the laundry, too. I sang to him and he'd either "sing" or start to dance, and then he'd throw one of his stuffed animals at me and start screaming for no apparent reason. He's adorable.
I just heard a weird noise. It sounded like air rapidly leaking from an air mattress, and I was a bit startled, as it started very suddenly, so I began looking all around the living room for the sound, only to discover it was S, with her cheeks puffed out, blowing out air through her mouth. I told her that I was very startled by the noise and had thought it was a giant balloon or air mattress I'd somehow not noticed in the living room leaking air, which she thought was very funny. Then I said, "Oh, you're just leaking again," and she said, "Occasionally I just plug the hole with something.. You know, food, drink, cock, whatever."
Yeah, that's what it's like to live here.
Anyway, I had more stuff to write about. Oh, yes. This evening, I went through the stuff I have stored in totes downstairs (this is what my life boils down to - totes) so I could get all my winter clothes sorted out and ready for when it gets cold. Not that I really need them - if I wear a long-sleeved shirt, I only need a light sweater when it's 30 degrees outside. I barely wore my coat at all. Not that it fits anymore - my chest has gotten too big to button it, and it was the biggest size Kohl's had in that style, and was the first girly coat I've ever owned. I'm a little disappointed, but maybe I'll shrink a little once I lose some weight. Anyway, I got my small supply of winter clothes out and took the clothes that I never, ever wear downstairs to keep down there. They're all clothes that will count as work clothes if I ever manage to get a job, so they'll have to come back up once that happens, unless I have a uniform or something, but for now, they're fine downstairs. Especially since most of them barely make it over my stupid boobs right now. (Hence, new bra.)
Anyway, the hat I made last summer (I made a whole set for myself - scarf, hat, and two sets of arm warmers) finally looks good on me now that my hair has grown out - it looked really stupid last year. Which reminds me, I need to get my ass in gear on the hat I'm making for S so she can wear it with the scarf I made for her last year. Hopefully I'll be able to make Girl Child's Ravenclaw scarf soon, too - she'll like having that.
My hair is sort of long enough to braid. It's not a braid I'd ever wear out of the house, because it's all stubby and it'd fall apart in three seconds if I was moving around at all, but it's good for just sitting here.
Anyway, I'm really tired, and there isn't really a whole lot else to say.
Anyway, I finished the laundry today. My shirt also arrived, which I'm very excited about, and it's now washed and dried and sitting in my dresser waiting for me to wear it. S and I are picking up the bras tomorrow sometime, after we go to the library to print the email confirmation to prove that I am in fact the person who bought the damn things, and then there will (hopefully) be new bras! Woo! Also, folding sheets is awful and I do not recommend it to anyone who wants to keep their sanity. But there's only one load of dirty clothing right now, and I need to wash the comforters, and that is it. Everything else is clean. I can't say put away because Girl Child won't let me put her clothes away for her and all she does is stuff them in a random part of her dresser and then wonder why nothing fits. All the rest of the clothes are put away, though, except for a few of S's because the dresser simply doesn't have the capacity for more. And the closet is so full I couldn't fit another thing in there if I was Hagrid. I'm feeling pretty good about the state of the laundry, though - it's whittled down to a point where I'll only need to do about a load a day, probably.
I actually had a disagreement with Girl Child about that. She doesn't see why I should want the laundry to be completely done. Because she doesn't care, and she doesn't think it matters. Sometimes I really just want to grab her and shake her - but I'll just fantasize about shoving a banana up her nose instead. (No worries, no crabby hormonal teenagers were harmed in the making of this blog.) Besides, the banana threat worked fairly well as a laugh-inducer earlier, even if she didn't bother doing any of the things I asked her to do until I nagged her about it. I would fall over in a dead faint if I discover tomorrow that she actually bothered to put her sheets on her bed like I told her to. I'm really frustrated with her right now, can you tell?
I spent this morning baby-sitting the Toddler because S didn't get to sleep until after 4:00 this morning and he woke up at 5:30, so at 8:00, she decided to get me up and ask me to take care of him until later. She got another three hours of sleep, which I guess is something. Unfortunately, there was so little coffee left in the house that what I ended up making was like weak tea. It was very sad. J was up until about 6:00 this evening (so almost 24 hours), so I had a little back-up when I was alone with the Toddler, and the day was generally a good one. Dealing with Girl Child was frustrating, the Toddler was both a giant butthead and really sweet, J was mostly playing on his computer and quiet, and S was S. The highlight of my day was playing Final Fantasy X. I'm finally ready to admit that I'm a little over-leveled - I killed Seymour in the battle on Gagazet so quickly that I barely got everyone in on the AP for the battle.
While I was folding the laundry this afternoon, the Toddler hung out with me. I stuck him in the crib while I was playing music and managed to get a decent amount done until he decided he wanted to go back to the living room. It was actually a pretty cool way to fold the laundry, too. I sang to him and he'd either "sing" or start to dance, and then he'd throw one of his stuffed animals at me and start screaming for no apparent reason. He's adorable.
I just heard a weird noise. It sounded like air rapidly leaking from an air mattress, and I was a bit startled, as it started very suddenly, so I began looking all around the living room for the sound, only to discover it was S, with her cheeks puffed out, blowing out air through her mouth. I told her that I was very startled by the noise and had thought it was a giant balloon or air mattress I'd somehow not noticed in the living room leaking air, which she thought was very funny. Then I said, "Oh, you're just leaking again," and she said, "Occasionally I just plug the hole with something.. You know, food, drink, cock, whatever."
Yeah, that's what it's like to live here.
Anyway, I had more stuff to write about. Oh, yes. This evening, I went through the stuff I have stored in totes downstairs (this is what my life boils down to - totes) so I could get all my winter clothes sorted out and ready for when it gets cold. Not that I really need them - if I wear a long-sleeved shirt, I only need a light sweater when it's 30 degrees outside. I barely wore my coat at all. Not that it fits anymore - my chest has gotten too big to button it, and it was the biggest size Kohl's had in that style, and was the first girly coat I've ever owned. I'm a little disappointed, but maybe I'll shrink a little once I lose some weight. Anyway, I got my small supply of winter clothes out and took the clothes that I never, ever wear downstairs to keep down there. They're all clothes that will count as work clothes if I ever manage to get a job, so they'll have to come back up once that happens, unless I have a uniform or something, but for now, they're fine downstairs. Especially since most of them barely make it over my stupid boobs right now. (Hence, new bra.)
Anyway, the hat I made last summer (I made a whole set for myself - scarf, hat, and two sets of arm warmers) finally looks good on me now that my hair has grown out - it looked really stupid last year. Which reminds me, I need to get my ass in gear on the hat I'm making for S so she can wear it with the scarf I made for her last year. Hopefully I'll be able to make Girl Child's Ravenclaw scarf soon, too - she'll like having that.
My hair is sort of long enough to braid. It's not a braid I'd ever wear out of the house, because it's all stubby and it'd fall apart in three seconds if I was moving around at all, but it's good for just sitting here.
Anyway, I'm really tired, and there isn't really a whole lot else to say.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Dog Baths and Head Injuries
Today has been extraordinarily boring. Seriously, I've completely run out of internet. S made an interesting dinner that she pulled out of her ass that's sort of modified chicken pot pie. She made a ridiculous amount of it, too, so we're going to be eating it forever. It was actually pretty tasty, even if it did have peas in it. I hate peas, but I ate them anyway, because vegetables are important!
S and I are currently conspiring against the dogs to get them bathed tonight so they stop being such itchy puppies. I think we have to clean up the floor and vacuum and Febreeze first, but then we're dragging each dog into the bathroom and making them suffer the indignity of a bath. If S feels good enough, she's been in a lot of pain lately, poor thing. We're going to have to break out the crutches again soon and make her use them so her foot will finish healing already.
I am easily entertained. S and I just sat here making faces at each other for a minute or two.
The Toddler was a terror today. I was watching him for awhile this afternoon, and it wasn't pretty. I got his toy hammer for him, and he decided to hit me with it and wouldn't stop when I told him to stop, so I took it away. I was going to leave it at that, but then he started screaming and hitting me, so he got a time-out for that, which was punctuated by attempted head-butting and more screaming and struggling. Then, when I put the hammer on the bookshelf to take it from him for the afternoon (because of the hitting and screaming behavior when I took it away for hitting me with it), he started screaming and crying again and threw his cup across the room, so he got another time-out for that. This was in the space of five minutes. I also got my face crawled on today, but it was while we were playing, so I don't count those injuries as much.
I've gotten a lot of laundry done today, and should be almost done by tomorrow if I don't burn out again. I definitely need to get to folding, which I'm going to try to get done pretty quick here before we clean the living room and bathe the dogs.
Today, Girl Child got PJ pants in her size that are the same pattern as the ones I just got, because S promised she'd get them for her this week. It's a good thing I remembered, because there were only two pairs of those pants left at Wal-Mart, and only one was in Girl Child's size. She was thrilled, though. Of course, this will lead to lots and lots of mix-ups, just like with the lemon shirts. Maybe less so, because it'll be ridiculously obvious that the pants don't fit if she accidentally steals mine.
Uh.. other stuff that happened today... Well, the Toddler fell on his head while we were at Wal-Mart. He was really excited and running in the aisle we were in and ran right past S and around a corner, tripped over his own feet, and fell on his head so hard the floor reverberated. He was very unhappy about that. He also peeled a scab off his eyebrow and made the spot bleed all over again. (The scab was from when he used his face to go down the stairs on the playground when we went to take storm pictures last weekend.) The whole area is swollen all over again, poor baby.
I haven't really had the opportunity to play Final Fantasy X in about a week. I've either been too tired or the Toddler has been around, and it's difficult to actually play when he's up because of constantly having to stop him from getting into stuff he shouldn't. Plus, there's all that laundry.
So, basically, nothing interesting happened today. There's a cricket somewhere in the house making way too much noise. I hate crickets. I'm also scared of them because of the jumping thing. I just told it to die and it stopped chirping momentarily.
Today I decided I'm going to apply for a job at the Sara Lee plant. I hope I get it. At least it'll be a job, and if I manage to keep all my body parts and stuff, maybe I can find a job closer to home or something, unless it pays ridiculously well.
I have one link to share, so it's not exactly a link round-up. Cracked has an article about things that stopped people from committing suicide, and it was actually really cool. It was pretty sappy, too, but I like sappy. I almost cried on the last one. You should definitely go read it.
S and I are currently conspiring against the dogs to get them bathed tonight so they stop being such itchy puppies. I think we have to clean up the floor and vacuum and Febreeze first, but then we're dragging each dog into the bathroom and making them suffer the indignity of a bath. If S feels good enough, she's been in a lot of pain lately, poor thing. We're going to have to break out the crutches again soon and make her use them so her foot will finish healing already.
I am easily entertained. S and I just sat here making faces at each other for a minute or two.
The Toddler was a terror today. I was watching him for awhile this afternoon, and it wasn't pretty. I got his toy hammer for him, and he decided to hit me with it and wouldn't stop when I told him to stop, so I took it away. I was going to leave it at that, but then he started screaming and hitting me, so he got a time-out for that, which was punctuated by attempted head-butting and more screaming and struggling. Then, when I put the hammer on the bookshelf to take it from him for the afternoon (because of the hitting and screaming behavior when I took it away for hitting me with it), he started screaming and crying again and threw his cup across the room, so he got another time-out for that. This was in the space of five minutes. I also got my face crawled on today, but it was while we were playing, so I don't count those injuries as much.
I've gotten a lot of laundry done today, and should be almost done by tomorrow if I don't burn out again. I definitely need to get to folding, which I'm going to try to get done pretty quick here before we clean the living room and bathe the dogs.
Today, Girl Child got PJ pants in her size that are the same pattern as the ones I just got, because S promised she'd get them for her this week. It's a good thing I remembered, because there were only two pairs of those pants left at Wal-Mart, and only one was in Girl Child's size. She was thrilled, though. Of course, this will lead to lots and lots of mix-ups, just like with the lemon shirts. Maybe less so, because it'll be ridiculously obvious that the pants don't fit if she accidentally steals mine.
Uh.. other stuff that happened today... Well, the Toddler fell on his head while we were at Wal-Mart. He was really excited and running in the aisle we were in and ran right past S and around a corner, tripped over his own feet, and fell on his head so hard the floor reverberated. He was very unhappy about that. He also peeled a scab off his eyebrow and made the spot bleed all over again. (The scab was from when he used his face to go down the stairs on the playground when we went to take storm pictures last weekend.) The whole area is swollen all over again, poor baby.
I haven't really had the opportunity to play Final Fantasy X in about a week. I've either been too tired or the Toddler has been around, and it's difficult to actually play when he's up because of constantly having to stop him from getting into stuff he shouldn't. Plus, there's all that laundry.
So, basically, nothing interesting happened today. There's a cricket somewhere in the house making way too much noise. I hate crickets. I'm also scared of them because of the jumping thing. I just told it to die and it stopped chirping momentarily.
Today I decided I'm going to apply for a job at the Sara Lee plant. I hope I get it. At least it'll be a job, and if I manage to keep all my body parts and stuff, maybe I can find a job closer to home or something, unless it pays ridiculously well.
I have one link to share, so it's not exactly a link round-up. Cracked has an article about things that stopped people from committing suicide, and it was actually really cool. It was pretty sappy, too, but I like sappy. I almost cried on the last one. You should definitely go read it.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
The Captain Obvious Club has a New Member!
I'm back from my trip to Topeka.
This morning, my phone played my text message tone several times back to back (the Final Fantasy X victory fanfare), and S said, "You have texts!" I said, "Yes," and she said, "I'm Captain Obvious!"
I love it here. I really appreciate it when I've been gone for awhile.
Anyway, my trip to Topeka was interesting. I stayed with E's dad, who I'll call DM, and E on Monday night. DM picked me up first and we drove together to the airport to pick E up from her flight. I talked his ear off, because I talk nervously when I'm.. nervous. Ha. Anyway, E was starving when we picked her up, so we went to a Cracker Barrel near the airport to get some food. I got a baconriffic BLT, and E got her usual standby, chicken tenders, mac and cheese, corn, and mashed potatoes. DM got a salad. I chronicle this because the food was pretty bad. Mine and DM's turned out fine, but poor E had a gelatinous blob of potatoes that she couldn't eat, and her mac and cheese was a bit burnt.
Anyway, after that, we went to Macy's to buy a suit for DM for the funeral (the reason E was in town at all), which was some serious hilarity, as E appears to think that she can make her dad be something he's not. She wanted him to get new shoes that had these scary, long squared toes - they were horrifying. Apparently they're quite fashionable, but they weren't him at all. The salesman and I found a pair that worked much better for DM that E said would do, and then she made him get a new tie and belt. And a shirt. Poor man. And immediately after the shopping trip, we made the two-hour drive to DM's house, which is about halfway between Topeka and Manhattan, way out in the country. The property is gorgeous. I took pictures.
Since I didn't know the man who died (he was E's stepmother's father), I wasn't planning on going to the funeral, even though E said it would be fine if I went. (DM did not agree and was perfectly fine with me being entirely too uncomfortable with the concept of going to the funeral.) The funeral was in Wichita, so DM and E dropped me off at LK's house to spend the day and night. Well, they tried to drop me off, but LK wasn't even there, she was at her friend-boy's apartment, and her mother, MK, was there with LK's puppy, Thor. (He's a four month old Akita.)
MK had no idea I was coming. She didn't even recognize E or me until we got right up to the porch, and then she got really happy. I haven't seen her since I was about 12, so that's probably a pretty dramatic change, I don't look anything like I did when I was 12. LK is apparently a master of communication, woo. After calling LK repeatedly, we managed to communicate that she needed to arrive like now, and she eventually showed up about half an hour later. There were hellos and goodbyes, and I spent the rest of the day hanging out with LK, and ended up helping LK paint her bedroom.
The house LK and her roommate are renting is owned by MK, and they're working on fixing it up really nice, which would be fine if their contractor would cooperate. He was supposed to be there by 11:00, and didn't show up until 6:00 that evening, screwed up the crown molding so they have a six-foot space that doesn't have any, and even though he promised to install the carpet, he didn't do it. He looked kind of like a skinny Jeff Daniels, except what hair he had left was shaved.
In the evening, LK's roommate came home from work and picking her baby up from daycare. The baby was 10 months old, but about the size of a typical 7 or 8 month old, and very cute. She really likes to kick. I got to hang out with her for a little while when her mother and LK went to the neighbors' house to get their wifi password, because they were willing to share the wifi until LK can afford to get internet in the house. So MK and I played pass the baby and kept her entertained. I love babies. Then LK had to pick her friend-boy up from work, and he decided to stay over.
After the contractor and MK left, one of their friends showed up to hang out right about the time I decided to go to bed, so I slept through the rest of the night's events. Apparently they were drinking, and LK's friend-boy decided it would be a brilliant idea to jump over the porch railing to get down instead of walking between the people on the stairs, and wound up badly injuring his ankle - they weren't sure if he broke it or just sprained it badly, but he had to be carried upstairs and was up most of the night crying from the pain. They couldn't take him to the hospital because they were all unsafe to drive, so LK took him to the hospital in the morning. No idea if he's okay or not, but I hope he will be, he was a nice guy.
E and DM showed up to pick us up for lunch while she was dropping him off at the hospital, so we had to wait for her to get back, and then we went to Bobo's Drive-In, which has been operating in Topeka since 1948. Then we dropped Leah off at home and E and I went to her mother's house to visit her for a few hours, while DM went off and did some work at his company's Topeka location. He likes to work. I'm calling E's mother CR.
CR has a new dog, a seven month old Shiba Inu named Sam. She had a Shar Pei named Ginger until May, but Ginger was too old and sick and had to be put down. Sam is nuts. He tried to eat my pants. One of CR's cats tried to eat my feet, too, which I wasn't too pleased about, especially since I don't even like cats. CR was pretty cool; I haven't seen her since E's wedding, and she knows about the divorce, so at least we could speak freely about that for awhile. She's convinced E's husband is going to try to kill her or something because he's really obsessed with her. There was a long talk about how E just needs to move the hell out and let her husband deal with not being able to afford their townhouse alone, especially since until about a week ago he was planning on trying to screw her in the divorce and get all her stuff, until he realized that under Tennessee law, you get to keep everything that you had before the marriage and only the stuff you got during the marriage gets split down the middle. He even wanted to take E's dog, Buddy, who he doesn't even like.
Anyway, CR knows I'm an atheist and that E is no longer Catholic (she's been involved with First Assembly of God since we were in high school), but it really bothers her, so she gave me a rosary. Not sure what I'm going to do with it. Girl Child wants it to wear as a decoration, since it's not like I'll ever use it. I've been an atheist since I was about 10. CR is really nice, though, and was pretty happy to see us. We set up her new speakers that E got her, and we explained that the new Firefox is the only one available now and that all of her stuff is still there and that she will just have to go through the effort of reorganizing everything. Apparently she just got a new computer not too long ago, and she's really mad at it.
DM picked us up after a few hours (we were there for two or three, I'm not sure), and we drove E back to the airport to go back to Nashville, and then he drove me home. He's really a sweet man, he told me I could always call him if I'm in any trouble, even though he lives two hours away. He also really wants me to get my learner's permit set up so I can drive with him next time he goes to Nashville to see E so I can get some driving practice in. I don't think he realizes how scary merging is, haha. But her dad is really, really cool. I think I kind of annoy him a lot, what with the incessant talking and all, but he likes me anyway. And I proved I'm capable of being quiet, because he had a business phone call when he drove me home after dropping E off and I only talked when I needed to tell him that we needed to take an exit.
Anyway, it was a pretty good trip. I called home while we were driving E to the airport, and S let the Toddler talk to me on the phone, and he was all kinds of excited to talk to me. Totally made my day. He calls me "Me" now, and it's really, really cute. I missed the hell out of everyone while I was gone, too.
Last night was also movie night, and we were watching the third X-Men movie. I played FFX for ten minutes after everyone dispersed, and then I passed out. And today's been pretty ordinary, I had my camera out because there's a massive spider outside the living room window, and I was taking pictures and then decided to take a photo of Sunshine, but the Toddler photobombed it. It's hilarious. I won't share the photobomb (no faces, remember?), but I will share a picture of the spider.
This morning, my phone played my text message tone several times back to back (the Final Fantasy X victory fanfare), and S said, "You have texts!" I said, "Yes," and she said, "I'm Captain Obvious!"
I love it here. I really appreciate it when I've been gone for awhile.
Anyway, my trip to Topeka was interesting. I stayed with E's dad, who I'll call DM, and E on Monday night. DM picked me up first and we drove together to the airport to pick E up from her flight. I talked his ear off, because I talk nervously when I'm.. nervous. Ha. Anyway, E was starving when we picked her up, so we went to a Cracker Barrel near the airport to get some food. I got a baconriffic BLT, and E got her usual standby, chicken tenders, mac and cheese, corn, and mashed potatoes. DM got a salad. I chronicle this because the food was pretty bad. Mine and DM's turned out fine, but poor E had a gelatinous blob of potatoes that she couldn't eat, and her mac and cheese was a bit burnt.
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| Mashed potatoes should not behave like this. |
Anyway, after that, we went to Macy's to buy a suit for DM for the funeral (the reason E was in town at all), which was some serious hilarity, as E appears to think that she can make her dad be something he's not. She wanted him to get new shoes that had these scary, long squared toes - they were horrifying. Apparently they're quite fashionable, but they weren't him at all. The salesman and I found a pair that worked much better for DM that E said would do, and then she made him get a new tie and belt. And a shirt. Poor man. And immediately after the shopping trip, we made the two-hour drive to DM's house, which is about halfway between Topeka and Manhattan, way out in the country. The property is gorgeous. I took pictures.
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| This is what DM gets to see every morning. So. Jealous. |
Since I didn't know the man who died (he was E's stepmother's father), I wasn't planning on going to the funeral, even though E said it would be fine if I went. (DM did not agree and was perfectly fine with me being entirely too uncomfortable with the concept of going to the funeral.) The funeral was in Wichita, so DM and E dropped me off at LK's house to spend the day and night. Well, they tried to drop me off, but LK wasn't even there, she was at her friend-boy's apartment, and her mother, MK, was there with LK's puppy, Thor. (He's a four month old Akita.)
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| Thor, the blurriest puppy in existence. |
The house LK and her roommate are renting is owned by MK, and they're working on fixing it up really nice, which would be fine if their contractor would cooperate. He was supposed to be there by 11:00, and didn't show up until 6:00 that evening, screwed up the crown molding so they have a six-foot space that doesn't have any, and even though he promised to install the carpet, he didn't do it. He looked kind of like a skinny Jeff Daniels, except what hair he had left was shaved.
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| Contractor Guy kind of looked like this. (Jeff Daniels) |
In the evening, LK's roommate came home from work and picking her baby up from daycare. The baby was 10 months old, but about the size of a typical 7 or 8 month old, and very cute. She really likes to kick. I got to hang out with her for a little while when her mother and LK went to the neighbors' house to get their wifi password, because they were willing to share the wifi until LK can afford to get internet in the house. So MK and I played pass the baby and kept her entertained. I love babies. Then LK had to pick her friend-boy up from work, and he decided to stay over.
After the contractor and MK left, one of their friends showed up to hang out right about the time I decided to go to bed, so I slept through the rest of the night's events. Apparently they were drinking, and LK's friend-boy decided it would be a brilliant idea to jump over the porch railing to get down instead of walking between the people on the stairs, and wound up badly injuring his ankle - they weren't sure if he broke it or just sprained it badly, but he had to be carried upstairs and was up most of the night crying from the pain. They couldn't take him to the hospital because they were all unsafe to drive, so LK took him to the hospital in the morning. No idea if he's okay or not, but I hope he will be, he was a nice guy.
E and DM showed up to pick us up for lunch while she was dropping him off at the hospital, so we had to wait for her to get back, and then we went to Bobo's Drive-In, which has been operating in Topeka since 1948. Then we dropped Leah off at home and E and I went to her mother's house to visit her for a few hours, while DM went off and did some work at his company's Topeka location. He likes to work. I'm calling E's mother CR.
CR has a new dog, a seven month old Shiba Inu named Sam. She had a Shar Pei named Ginger until May, but Ginger was too old and sick and had to be put down. Sam is nuts. He tried to eat my pants. One of CR's cats tried to eat my feet, too, which I wasn't too pleased about, especially since I don't even like cats. CR was pretty cool; I haven't seen her since E's wedding, and she knows about the divorce, so at least we could speak freely about that for awhile. She's convinced E's husband is going to try to kill her or something because he's really obsessed with her. There was a long talk about how E just needs to move the hell out and let her husband deal with not being able to afford their townhouse alone, especially since until about a week ago he was planning on trying to screw her in the divorce and get all her stuff, until he realized that under Tennessee law, you get to keep everything that you had before the marriage and only the stuff you got during the marriage gets split down the middle. He even wanted to take E's dog, Buddy, who he doesn't even like.
Anyway, CR knows I'm an atheist and that E is no longer Catholic (she's been involved with First Assembly of God since we were in high school), but it really bothers her, so she gave me a rosary. Not sure what I'm going to do with it. Girl Child wants it to wear as a decoration, since it's not like I'll ever use it. I've been an atheist since I was about 10. CR is really nice, though, and was pretty happy to see us. We set up her new speakers that E got her, and we explained that the new Firefox is the only one available now and that all of her stuff is still there and that she will just have to go through the effort of reorganizing everything. Apparently she just got a new computer not too long ago, and she's really mad at it.
DM picked us up after a few hours (we were there for two or three, I'm not sure), and we drove E back to the airport to go back to Nashville, and then he drove me home. He's really a sweet man, he told me I could always call him if I'm in any trouble, even though he lives two hours away. He also really wants me to get my learner's permit set up so I can drive with him next time he goes to Nashville to see E so I can get some driving practice in. I don't think he realizes how scary merging is, haha. But her dad is really, really cool. I think I kind of annoy him a lot, what with the incessant talking and all, but he likes me anyway. And I proved I'm capable of being quiet, because he had a business phone call when he drove me home after dropping E off and I only talked when I needed to tell him that we needed to take an exit.
Anyway, it was a pretty good trip. I called home while we were driving E to the airport, and S let the Toddler talk to me on the phone, and he was all kinds of excited to talk to me. Totally made my day. He calls me "Me" now, and it's really, really cute. I missed the hell out of everyone while I was gone, too.
Last night was also movie night, and we were watching the third X-Men movie. I played FFX for ten minutes after everyone dispersed, and then I passed out. And today's been pretty ordinary, I had my camera out because there's a massive spider outside the living room window, and I was taking pictures and then decided to take a photo of Sunshine, but the Toddler photobombed it. It's hilarious. I won't share the photobomb (no faces, remember?), but I will share a picture of the spider.
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| "Why hello there, Mister Spider, are you enjoying your breakfast?" |
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Jam Session
Here's a quick post to explain how my day is going.
Girl Child and I just had a jam session of hilarious proportions. She played chords on her guitar while I sang horribly like Phoebe from Friends. It's our Posterity Video of Posterity, and we'll be putting it on my YouTube account later once I have possession of the file.
In any case, we've been getting along really well today (my relationship with her is like she's my kid sister, so we fight a lot). I helped her get some secret items for her Final Fantasy X game earlier, and then nagged her about cleaning her room. We definitely have a strange relationship.
There's not much else to say, really. Just a really good day.
Girl Child and I just had a jam session of hilarious proportions. She played chords on her guitar while I sang horribly like Phoebe from Friends. It's our Posterity Video of Posterity, and we'll be putting it on my YouTube account later once I have possession of the file.
In any case, we've been getting along really well today (my relationship with her is like she's my kid sister, so we fight a lot). I helped her get some secret items for her Final Fantasy X game earlier, and then nagged her about cleaning her room. We definitely have a strange relationship.
There's not much else to say, really. Just a really good day.
Friday, August 5, 2011
To Be Loved By a Dog
Okay. I read Marley and Me two years ago. I actually own a copy of the book, but I don't know if I'm getting it back, because my ex-fiance never sent me my stuff. Anyway. I cried and cried and cried and cried when I read the book. Even if you haven't read it, if you know it's about a dog's life, you know how it's going to end. I knew how it was going to end and it was still devastating. (Also, other than a few Bill Bryson books I really like, Marley and Me is really the only non-fiction I've read in the last few years.) Anyway, I watched the movie tonight, finally. We've had it sitting there for almost a year, and I never had the chance to watch it, but finally decided it would be a good idea tonight while I was folding laundry.
That would be a big fat NO. That was a horrible idea. I didn't stop crying from the second vet visit on; I even cuddled up on the floor with Shadow and Sunshine and cried on them after the movie ended. (I'm the only person who is home and awake.) My eyes are swollen and scratchy and I have a headache. I don't know what I'm going to do when it's time for these guys, if I'm this upset over a dog I've never met.
I wish I could put into words the kind of love I feel for dogs - any dog, really, but especially Shadow and Sunshine. By all intents and purposes, they're mine, too, and I .. I don't love them like I'd love a child, or a friend, or how I love J and S and M and Girl Child and the Toddler. It's a completely different kind of love, and you know they think the sun shines out of everyone's butt (except maybe the Toddler's because he steps on them so much) in this house. They love you when you've had a bad day, when you've gained weight, when you're mad at them for chewing up your favorite flip flops (Sunshine has eaten something like three pairs of my flip flops) - they don't care, they will love you anyway. They don't care if you don't have any money or can't fold a fitted sheet to save your life or if you can only cook one thing, because you're you and they love you.
That's a kind of magic, in a way, to experience that kind of love. I'm so glad to have loved a dog, to be given the very special opportunity that so many take for granted to be loved by a dog.
Now that I'm crying again, I think I'll go hug the furry people some more.
That would be a big fat NO. That was a horrible idea. I didn't stop crying from the second vet visit on; I even cuddled up on the floor with Shadow and Sunshine and cried on them after the movie ended. (I'm the only person who is home and awake.) My eyes are swollen and scratchy and I have a headache. I don't know what I'm going to do when it's time for these guys, if I'm this upset over a dog I've never met.
I wish I could put into words the kind of love I feel for dogs - any dog, really, but especially Shadow and Sunshine. By all intents and purposes, they're mine, too, and I .. I don't love them like I'd love a child, or a friend, or how I love J and S and M and Girl Child and the Toddler. It's a completely different kind of love, and you know they think the sun shines out of everyone's butt (except maybe the Toddler's because he steps on them so much) in this house. They love you when you've had a bad day, when you've gained weight, when you're mad at them for chewing up your favorite flip flops (Sunshine has eaten something like three pairs of my flip flops) - they don't care, they will love you anyway. They don't care if you don't have any money or can't fold a fitted sheet to save your life or if you can only cook one thing, because you're you and they love you.
That's a kind of magic, in a way, to experience that kind of love. I'm so glad to have loved a dog, to be given the very special opportunity that so many take for granted to be loved by a dog.
Now that I'm crying again, I think I'll go hug the furry people some more.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Today Was Obnoxious
I didn't end up posting yesterday partly because I had nothing to say, but also because I ended up getting sick toward the end of the evening. At that point, I decided it would be better to just forget it and not write anything.
I'm feeling better today, no ill effects, but today was obnoxious nonetheless. Why? Because the Toddler decided the best way he could spend his time today was to be as obnoxious as possible. I love the kid, but jeez. There was banging, doorknob removal, hitting, kicking, and general destruction, part of which caused about five extra loads of laundry. Woo. (I figure S would be a bit displeased to discover that I wrote explicitly about how there came to be so much extra laundry or what exactly he did today, so I'm not explaining it. Ha.)
After all that, he also didn't bother to nap. Because obviously, that's the last thing he could ever possibly want to do. He's been driving us crazy all day, and without a break. At least he's really cute.
Today, Girl Child was supposed to go visit her great-grandmother four hours away, and some relatives that were on the way down were going to pick her up and take her. Unfortunately, the driver ended up feeling very sick and they all got stranded in the middle of nowhere at a gas station an hour into the trip, and then Girl Child started to feel sick again (she's been sick lately), so she wanted S to come pick her up, but S couldn't, so Girl Child is spending the night at the relative's house and being picked up in the morning. Poor kid, what bad luck.
Today just hasn't been good for anybody in this house, not even the dogs - when the relatives came to pick Girl Child up, Shadow went outside just fine, but Sunshine wouldn't, and tried to escape again, so I ended up carrying her away from the door, all 80 pounds of her, before I could get Girl Child to get me a leash so I could have a more reliable method of restraining the idiot. Apparently Sunshine has forgotten that the reason she's been so scared for the last 6 weeks is because she got hit by a damn car. It is very hard to restrain a dog like that, especially one that is as muscular and energetic as Sunshine.
On the subject of No 'Poo, I think I'm going to end up changing my washing schedule for whenever the hell I feel like it. Because while I think OCD, I am not OCD in my actions. So I'm washing my hair tonight instead of tomorrow because I did it wrong on Saturday.
It is really hot here right now. It's so hot that the air conditioner can't keep up. I hate summer and I hate heat waves, and I wish this would just end already, because I am so ready for fall to get here, preferably in a nice cold rain with fallen leaves. I love that part of the year, when the leaves are falling and it rains and it's only about 60 degrees, maybe even 50, and it's denim jacket weather (which reminds me, I still need to replace the one I lost a few years ago), and it's all so beautiful and nostalgic. I really, really love October, especially when it's a wet October.
Sometimes I kind of wish I'd stayed in Washington, just for the weather, but then I remember that I had no friends and was completely miserable and I'm glad I came back. I wouldn't mind moving somewhere with similar weather, though. Seattle's weather is very similar to the UK in the winter - it's usually about 40 degrees and it doesn't usually snow, just rains.
Blah, blah, blah, lots of inconsequential nonsense. I'm not doing too well, I'm really overheated at the moment, so my brain isn't working correctly.
Today I finally moved about 100 gigs of my stuff from J's computer to mine. Woo! I have so many pictures. Oh my god.
Anyway, tonight I think I'll put on a movie and ... stuff?
Links Round-Up!!
Apparently dolphins like to play frisbee with jellyfish. And wear them as hats. There are pictures.
"She was my wife! She's still spitting out hairballs!"
Health insurers will soon have to cover birth control and other things without a copay thanks to a new Department of Health and Human Services policy in Washington.
Vocaloids are really cool.
Despite what I said about loving Washington's weather, the fact that the state has the highest rate of parents skipping vaccinations for their children makes me too uncomfortable to want to raise children there.
There is such a high instance of domestic violence in one county in Indiana that the women's shelters there are now having to enact waiting lists.
Deadbeat dads affected by the BP oil spill won't be seeing their disaster relief payments anytime soon.
I'm feeling better today, no ill effects, but today was obnoxious nonetheless. Why? Because the Toddler decided the best way he could spend his time today was to be as obnoxious as possible. I love the kid, but jeez. There was banging, doorknob removal, hitting, kicking, and general destruction, part of which caused about five extra loads of laundry. Woo. (I figure S would be a bit displeased to discover that I wrote explicitly about how there came to be so much extra laundry or what exactly he did today, so I'm not explaining it. Ha.)
After all that, he also didn't bother to nap. Because obviously, that's the last thing he could ever possibly want to do. He's been driving us crazy all day, and without a break. At least he's really cute.
Today, Girl Child was supposed to go visit her great-grandmother four hours away, and some relatives that were on the way down were going to pick her up and take her. Unfortunately, the driver ended up feeling very sick and they all got stranded in the middle of nowhere at a gas station an hour into the trip, and then Girl Child started to feel sick again (she's been sick lately), so she wanted S to come pick her up, but S couldn't, so Girl Child is spending the night at the relative's house and being picked up in the morning. Poor kid, what bad luck.
Today just hasn't been good for anybody in this house, not even the dogs - when the relatives came to pick Girl Child up, Shadow went outside just fine, but Sunshine wouldn't, and tried to escape again, so I ended up carrying her away from the door, all 80 pounds of her, before I could get Girl Child to get me a leash so I could have a more reliable method of restraining the idiot. Apparently Sunshine has forgotten that the reason she's been so scared for the last 6 weeks is because she got hit by a damn car. It is very hard to restrain a dog like that, especially one that is as muscular and energetic as Sunshine.
On the subject of No 'Poo, I think I'm going to end up changing my washing schedule for whenever the hell I feel like it. Because while I think OCD, I am not OCD in my actions. So I'm washing my hair tonight instead of tomorrow because I did it wrong on Saturday.
It is really hot here right now. It's so hot that the air conditioner can't keep up. I hate summer and I hate heat waves, and I wish this would just end already, because I am so ready for fall to get here, preferably in a nice cold rain with fallen leaves. I love that part of the year, when the leaves are falling and it rains and it's only about 60 degrees, maybe even 50, and it's denim jacket weather (which reminds me, I still need to replace the one I lost a few years ago), and it's all so beautiful and nostalgic. I really, really love October, especially when it's a wet October.
Sometimes I kind of wish I'd stayed in Washington, just for the weather, but then I remember that I had no friends and was completely miserable and I'm glad I came back. I wouldn't mind moving somewhere with similar weather, though. Seattle's weather is very similar to the UK in the winter - it's usually about 40 degrees and it doesn't usually snow, just rains.
Blah, blah, blah, lots of inconsequential nonsense. I'm not doing too well, I'm really overheated at the moment, so my brain isn't working correctly.
Today I finally moved about 100 gigs of my stuff from J's computer to mine. Woo! I have so many pictures. Oh my god.
Anyway, tonight I think I'll put on a movie and ... stuff?
Links Round-Up!!
Apparently dolphins like to play frisbee with jellyfish. And wear them as hats. There are pictures.
"She was my wife! She's still spitting out hairballs!"
Health insurers will soon have to cover birth control and other things without a copay thanks to a new Department of Health and Human Services policy in Washington.
Vocaloids are really cool.
Despite what I said about loving Washington's weather, the fact that the state has the highest rate of parents skipping vaccinations for their children makes me too uncomfortable to want to raise children there.
There is such a high instance of domestic violence in one county in Indiana that the women's shelters there are now having to enact waiting lists.
Deadbeat dads affected by the BP oil spill won't be seeing their disaster relief payments anytime soon.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
The Rambliest Post Ever
So I haven’t bothered writing a post at all this week. This week has kind of sucked. I’ve been completely sleep-deprived for the last two or three days, and we’re out of cigarettes (and I’m not sure if we’re getting more or if only J is going to be smoking from now on), so I’m a real treat to be around right now.
I’ve almost completely finished all the laundry that was taken downstairs, though, so as long as I maintain it a little better, we won’t end up with a laundry mountain taking over the hallway again.
I spent three days working on a new Sharpie art piece - I don't have a photo of the completed version (and I'm not entirely sure I'm happy with the completed version), but I do have a photo of it as it was right before I finished it off.
I've also got photos of the crazy line drawing and the slightly schizophrenic-looking one that I'm pretty sure I've already mentioned previously. I'm going to put those in the photo gallery instead, though, I think. The crazy picture up above I'm thinking about uploading to DeviantArt as a work in progress photo since it's been months since I added anything to my profile.
Anyway, Thursday and yesterday were particularly bad in this incredibly fun week. Girl Child had a friend over for a sleepover, which wasn't a problem, she's actually been working on cleaning her room, so S said she could have her over. The problem came when Girl Child basically seems to have decided that since her friend is over, she can treat me any way she wants, regardless of the fact that I am an adult and she is not. So the last two days have been nothing but us sniping at each other because I've finally cracked. She completely overreacts to everything I say and do, even when I'm being perfectly lovely to her, so I'm done trying to be nice, at least until she adjusts her damn attitude and starts showing me some respect, because I'm sick of her crap.
Today, S and the Toddler are going out to meet up with a friend of S's, AC, for a little while, since it's been awhile since they've seen each other. He's almost doubled in size (or at least it seems that way to me) since AC last saw him in October.
Sunshine is slowly starting to get back to normal, so maybe she won't need to be put down after all. She's sort of started wagging her tail again, and wagging her butt sometimes, too. Unfortunately, she's also started being food aggressive toward Shadow again, even when he's nowhere near the food. And for fuck's sake, we don't starve her! There is always food available. Dumbass dog.
My hair is about as long as it was in March of 2010, so I'm a little over a year behind where I would have been if I hadn't ever cut it, so at least there's that. In about another year, it'll be waist-length, so in about two years, it'll be about to where I want it. It's starting to look thicker, so maybe this not-dyeing thing is working out for me.
I don't particularly have anything of substance I want to write about. I'm feeling particularly anti-social today.
I'm hoping to soon be able to get my learner's permit so I can start to get the hang of driving again - I discussed it with S a week or so ago and mentioned that if I got it in July, I could try for my license in October - I'm hoping to have my license before next spring, because S is planning on having a medical procedure done that would render her unable to drive for over a month, and the entire household would disintegrate if she didn't have a substitute driver. Seriously, no bills would get taken care of, we would starve and die, J would never again get a prescription filled, and the car would eventually run out of gas or something. Of course, we'd have starved and died by then, but still. So it would probably be preferential for me to have a license so I can help in that way - plus, that would enable me to have a bit more independence - I could also get a job further away once I find a job nearby that I can use to get enough money to buy a car.
I was so angry at the couch the other night that I coated it in tape so it would stop falling on me. I hate sleeping on it, we were supposed to get a new couch four months ago, but shit kept happening and we never were able to get one. So I took a roll of packing tape that I had downstairs from a move and taped the cushion fabric to the top of the couch frame. I think, since S and the Toddler are out of the house, I may remove the tape and nail it up there for a more permanent solution, at least until we get a new couch. We're basically going to have to completely take this couch apart when we get rid of it to find all the crap we've lost inside of it.
This week has been crap. The only reason I sound so damn cheerful half the time is because that's just how I sound these days - I don't think there's a power in the 'verse could stop me being cheerful for long. This is what happens when you decide that you are going to be happy no matter what. Eventually you stop trying to seem happy and just are happy. And funnily enough, after writing all this down, I'm a lot less cranky and angry than I was when I started, so maybe that's another little nugget of wisdom I've learned: don't bottle everything up, find an outlet.
The weather here is awful, I wish it was winter again. All my clothes that look good on me are too warm for me to wear unless it's 20 degrees outside. It's currently over 90, and even with the air conditioning on, I feel like I'm melting. I'm wearing my oldest, rattiest pajama pants and an ancient t-shirt, so I should be fine, but my stupid body is convinced that it's actually on fire. (I've had these pajama pants since 8th grade, actually - I got the set specifically for pajama day at Sumner, and the only reason I can still wear them is because the elastic is basically exploded.)
I love the music that M makes - this particular song simultaneously makes me feel like my heart is swelling and makes me think of Jurassic Park. What a combination.
I'm experimenting with not messing with my fingernails at all unless they get a snag, and am working on breaking myself of the only relic of biting my nails - sucking on them. They're still very thin and bendy, and I hope they eventually get hard if I stop putting them in my mouth and idly playing with them, but right now they're like kitten claws - flexible and sharp.
Yesterday, S and I were introduced to a new way to play the Bad Translate game by my friend CN. There's an online tool that does the translation transitions for you, so 10 translations, 20, 30, 40, 50, or 56 - and there are often hilarious results. S and I spent most of yesterday playing with it, writing stream of consciousness passages, nonsensical sentences, and weird phrases to see what we would get. For example, if you input, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog," and tell it to translate that sentence 50 times, it comes back with, "Fox Brown cloth." I don't know what the hell that's supposed to mean, but it's pretty funny.
I require more coffee and I am interested to see if we have any canned pumpkin in the house at all, because I'm interested in completely winging a pumpkin cake. Since I'm awesome like that. I just wish I wasn't so tired. I hope today doesn't suck as much as yesterday did.
I’ve almost completely finished all the laundry that was taken downstairs, though, so as long as I maintain it a little better, we won’t end up with a laundry mountain taking over the hallway again.
I spent three days working on a new Sharpie art piece - I don't have a photo of the completed version (and I'm not entirely sure I'm happy with the completed version), but I do have a photo of it as it was right before I finished it off.
 |
| I haven't decided if I want to call this anything or not. It now has a few more ribbons of yellow and some more stars and a black background. |
I've also got photos of the crazy line drawing and the slightly schizophrenic-looking one that I'm pretty sure I've already mentioned previously. I'm going to put those in the photo gallery instead, though, I think. The crazy picture up above I'm thinking about uploading to DeviantArt as a work in progress photo since it's been months since I added anything to my profile.
Anyway, Thursday and yesterday were particularly bad in this incredibly fun week. Girl Child had a friend over for a sleepover, which wasn't a problem, she's actually been working on cleaning her room, so S said she could have her over. The problem came when Girl Child basically seems to have decided that since her friend is over, she can treat me any way she wants, regardless of the fact that I am an adult and she is not. So the last two days have been nothing but us sniping at each other because I've finally cracked. She completely overreacts to everything I say and do, even when I'm being perfectly lovely to her, so I'm done trying to be nice, at least until she adjusts her damn attitude and starts showing me some respect, because I'm sick of her crap.
Today, S and the Toddler are going out to meet up with a friend of S's, AC, for a little while, since it's been awhile since they've seen each other. He's almost doubled in size (or at least it seems that way to me) since AC last saw him in October.
Sunshine is slowly starting to get back to normal, so maybe she won't need to be put down after all. She's sort of started wagging her tail again, and wagging her butt sometimes, too. Unfortunately, she's also started being food aggressive toward Shadow again, even when he's nowhere near the food. And for fuck's sake, we don't starve her! There is always food available. Dumbass dog.
My hair is about as long as it was in March of 2010, so I'm a little over a year behind where I would have been if I hadn't ever cut it, so at least there's that. In about another year, it'll be waist-length, so in about two years, it'll be about to where I want it. It's starting to look thicker, so maybe this not-dyeing thing is working out for me.
I don't particularly have anything of substance I want to write about. I'm feeling particularly anti-social today.
I'm hoping to soon be able to get my learner's permit so I can start to get the hang of driving again - I discussed it with S a week or so ago and mentioned that if I got it in July, I could try for my license in October - I'm hoping to have my license before next spring, because S is planning on having a medical procedure done that would render her unable to drive for over a month, and the entire household would disintegrate if she didn't have a substitute driver. Seriously, no bills would get taken care of, we would starve and die, J would never again get a prescription filled, and the car would eventually run out of gas or something. Of course, we'd have starved and died by then, but still. So it would probably be preferential for me to have a license so I can help in that way - plus, that would enable me to have a bit more independence - I could also get a job further away once I find a job nearby that I can use to get enough money to buy a car.
I was so angry at the couch the other night that I coated it in tape so it would stop falling on me. I hate sleeping on it, we were supposed to get a new couch four months ago, but shit kept happening and we never were able to get one. So I took a roll of packing tape that I had downstairs from a move and taped the cushion fabric to the top of the couch frame. I think, since S and the Toddler are out of the house, I may remove the tape and nail it up there for a more permanent solution, at least until we get a new couch. We're basically going to have to completely take this couch apart when we get rid of it to find all the crap we've lost inside of it.
This week has been crap. The only reason I sound so damn cheerful half the time is because that's just how I sound these days - I don't think there's a power in the 'verse could stop me being cheerful for long. This is what happens when you decide that you are going to be happy no matter what. Eventually you stop trying to seem happy and just are happy. And funnily enough, after writing all this down, I'm a lot less cranky and angry than I was when I started, so maybe that's another little nugget of wisdom I've learned: don't bottle everything up, find an outlet.
The weather here is awful, I wish it was winter again. All my clothes that look good on me are too warm for me to wear unless it's 20 degrees outside. It's currently over 90, and even with the air conditioning on, I feel like I'm melting. I'm wearing my oldest, rattiest pajama pants and an ancient t-shirt, so I should be fine, but my stupid body is convinced that it's actually on fire. (I've had these pajama pants since 8th grade, actually - I got the set specifically for pajama day at Sumner, and the only reason I can still wear them is because the elastic is basically exploded.)
I love the music that M makes - this particular song simultaneously makes me feel like my heart is swelling and makes me think of Jurassic Park. What a combination.
I'm experimenting with not messing with my fingernails at all unless they get a snag, and am working on breaking myself of the only relic of biting my nails - sucking on them. They're still very thin and bendy, and I hope they eventually get hard if I stop putting them in my mouth and idly playing with them, but right now they're like kitten claws - flexible and sharp.
Yesterday, S and I were introduced to a new way to play the Bad Translate game by my friend CN. There's an online tool that does the translation transitions for you, so 10 translations, 20, 30, 40, 50, or 56 - and there are often hilarious results. S and I spent most of yesterday playing with it, writing stream of consciousness passages, nonsensical sentences, and weird phrases to see what we would get. For example, if you input, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog," and tell it to translate that sentence 50 times, it comes back with, "Fox Brown cloth." I don't know what the hell that's supposed to mean, but it's pretty funny.
I require more coffee and I am interested to see if we have any canned pumpkin in the house at all, because I'm interested in completely winging a pumpkin cake. Since I'm awesome like that. I just wish I wasn't so tired. I hope today doesn't suck as much as yesterday did.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
The Sun is a Mass of Incandescent Gas...
Today has been a pretty good day so far, as days go. Lots of silliness.
S let me sleep until 9:30, when she startled me awake (doubtfully on purpose) out of a really cool dream that I can only remember flashes of (nothing I can put into words), so we could go out to get breakfast and Starbucks. Yum! We got food for M and Girl Child, too, of course.
After we got back from that and had finished eating, we managed to all find clothes that are things we can wear in public, and S, Girl Child, Toddler, and I went to Wal-Mart to pick a few things up. I got new pillows finally (I meant to get them in March, but I forgot), a new set of earbuds because the ones I’ve been using died, and those were secondhand from J because the ones before those died, and a new tank top that’s really bright. It’s like a sunset in a shirt with flowers. I’m just happy to have more tank tops. I need to own about 20, because if it’s not below 50 degrees outside, I’m hot in a t-shirt. Whee. Anyway, S also bought a new pillow for J, and got Girl Child the same set of Sharpies that I have (fortunately we won’t have mix-ups about whose are whose, as mine live in the most awesome bag ever and Girl Child’s live in a little purse), and we got a few other things besides all that. As we were leaving Wal-Mart, Girl Child and I started singing the only part of the They Might Be Giants song “Why Does The Sun Shine?” that we know very very loudly in the parking lot, while swinging the Toddler through the air. Poor S.
After Wal-Mart, we went to Half-Price Books, where I talked to the manager about whether they were hiring and my job application I dropped off in March (this is the second time I’ve asked about it), and then S bought some books and got me a VHS copy of Beauty and the Beast. So once I have a VCR, I’ll be able to watch it the way it was made originally, instead of with that stupid-ass Human Again song. (I want The Lion King on VHS, too, but we’ve already got it and S doesn’t want a redundant copy floating around.) I’m hoping I’ll be able to find a way to copy the VHS of Beauty and the Beast into a digital format so it’ll be easier to watch, I’ll have to do some research on that eventually. After I get a job. And a good computer. Whee.
Anyway, Girl Child and I sang the They Might Be Giants song again in the parking lot of Half-Price Books and S was screaming behind us that she was going to kill us all. I love living here. It was a lot of fun. We forgot to get some essentials that we meant to get, though - bread, milk, hot dogs for the Toddler, that kind of thing. We’ll do it tomorrow, though, it’ll be okay.
Tonight, we’re going to be watching the extended version of Two Towers with M and will probably be up until 3 AM again. That’ll be fantastic, last time was so fun, even though S fell asleep early on in the movie, she was still a part of it, since we were joking about her falling asleep. (It was terribly cute, actually, especially when I covered her with a blanket when she was saying she was cold, even though she protested.)
I just had a fun conversation with M. I think M is the shit. I don’t think I get on his nerves nearly as much as I did last September, when I first met him for real. (I met him when J and I were dating in 2009, but it was one time, and all we really said to each other was hi.) I was in the basement getting some laundry sorted and waiting for M to get out of the shower so his water temperature didn’t fluctuate, and then I just didn’t come up until he was done doing his thing because we got to talking and I was helping him find his glasses, since he’s functionally blind without them.
I’m in such a good mood. S and I drew on Girl Child’s arms, and they look really cool. S did the better art and I did a bunch of really colorful doodles.
I’m just sitting here waiting until S and M get back with snacky fun good time food stuff, and then it’ll be time for our movie and fun-ness. I’m going to get more water (it’s been ridiculously hot here lately, I’m so dehydrated) and chug, and then they’ll be back and it’s going to be a great evening.
Once again, I love being here and being a part of this life. I love everyone. I think I’ll go confuse Girl Child with some love now. Hahaha.
S let me sleep until 9:30, when she startled me awake (doubtfully on purpose) out of a really cool dream that I can only remember flashes of (nothing I can put into words), so we could go out to get breakfast and Starbucks. Yum! We got food for M and Girl Child, too, of course.
After we got back from that and had finished eating, we managed to all find clothes that are things we can wear in public, and S, Girl Child, Toddler, and I went to Wal-Mart to pick a few things up. I got new pillows finally (I meant to get them in March, but I forgot), a new set of earbuds because the ones I’ve been using died, and those were secondhand from J because the ones before those died, and a new tank top that’s really bright. It’s like a sunset in a shirt with flowers. I’m just happy to have more tank tops. I need to own about 20, because if it’s not below 50 degrees outside, I’m hot in a t-shirt. Whee. Anyway, S also bought a new pillow for J, and got Girl Child the same set of Sharpies that I have (fortunately we won’t have mix-ups about whose are whose, as mine live in the most awesome bag ever and Girl Child’s live in a little purse), and we got a few other things besides all that. As we were leaving Wal-Mart, Girl Child and I started singing the only part of the They Might Be Giants song “Why Does The Sun Shine?” that we know very very loudly in the parking lot, while swinging the Toddler through the air. Poor S.
After Wal-Mart, we went to Half-Price Books, where I talked to the manager about whether they were hiring and my job application I dropped off in March (this is the second time I’ve asked about it), and then S bought some books and got me a VHS copy of Beauty and the Beast. So once I have a VCR, I’ll be able to watch it the way it was made originally, instead of with that stupid-ass Human Again song. (I want The Lion King on VHS, too, but we’ve already got it and S doesn’t want a redundant copy floating around.) I’m hoping I’ll be able to find a way to copy the VHS of Beauty and the Beast into a digital format so it’ll be easier to watch, I’ll have to do some research on that eventually. After I get a job. And a good computer. Whee.
Anyway, Girl Child and I sang the They Might Be Giants song again in the parking lot of Half-Price Books and S was screaming behind us that she was going to kill us all. I love living here. It was a lot of fun. We forgot to get some essentials that we meant to get, though - bread, milk, hot dogs for the Toddler, that kind of thing. We’ll do it tomorrow, though, it’ll be okay.
Tonight, we’re going to be watching the extended version of Two Towers with M and will probably be up until 3 AM again. That’ll be fantastic, last time was so fun, even though S fell asleep early on in the movie, she was still a part of it, since we were joking about her falling asleep. (It was terribly cute, actually, especially when I covered her with a blanket when she was saying she was cold, even though she protested.)
I just had a fun conversation with M. I think M is the shit. I don’t think I get on his nerves nearly as much as I did last September, when I first met him for real. (I met him when J and I were dating in 2009, but it was one time, and all we really said to each other was hi.) I was in the basement getting some laundry sorted and waiting for M to get out of the shower so his water temperature didn’t fluctuate, and then I just didn’t come up until he was done doing his thing because we got to talking and I was helping him find his glasses, since he’s functionally blind without them.
I’m in such a good mood. S and I drew on Girl Child’s arms, and they look really cool. S did the better art and I did a bunch of really colorful doodles.
I’m just sitting here waiting until S and M get back with snacky fun good time food stuff, and then it’ll be time for our movie and fun-ness. I’m going to get more water (it’s been ridiculously hot here lately, I’m so dehydrated) and chug, and then they’ll be back and it’s going to be a great evening.
Once again, I love being here and being a part of this life. I love everyone. I think I’ll go confuse Girl Child with some love now. Hahaha.
Monday, June 6, 2011
My Life is an Oddity
I've spent most of the morning reading various news articles and looking up disaster movies and TV shows I find interesting. I can't find anything that would allow me to watch Mega Disasters (the primary one I'm interested in watching, of course), but hopefully I'll find something soon.
I love watching hypothetical/fictional disasters in movies and on TV shows. I like the hysteria, the little CGI cities being ripped to shreds, the explosions. I am a serious dork. I love 2012. Twister was my favorite movie when I was little, and also Night of the Twisters, which is so bad it's good. I liked Dante's Peak and I haven't seen Volcano yet, but it's on the list. I want to be in possession of every disaster movie that was any good. I don't mind cheesy special effects, the more destruction the better! Like The Core, or epic earthquake movies, documentaries about what might happen if a super tornado hit, or if Mount Rainer erupted cataclysmically, or if a really big hurricane hit New York City.
God, I love a good, cheesy disaster movie.
The Toddler is currently down for a nap - I'm not sure how long he'll sleep, since S had to move his bedtime to 9:00 so he'd stop waking up at 1 AM and stay awake all night. S decided that she needed one, too, and after she gets up, we're going to the library so I can drop off those books that I deem useless and pick up my new holds (whee!), and then I think we have an errand or three, but I'm not sure. Pretty stoked about the books, though, I believe one of them is crochet amigurumi of things like zombies and monsters, and I'm all for having patterns for those kinds of things. Poor Toddler, by the time he's five, he's going to have a bedroom filled entirely with zombies, Cthulhu stuffies, monsters, and other strange oddities.
My life is an oddity.
The Girl Child has rearisen - I was previously the only person awake. Because of the various sleeping schedules of the inhabitants of this house, it almost never transpires that we are all awake or all asleep at the same time. I in fact remember very few occasions where we have all been asleep at the same time - there was one day when everyone who doesn't work nights was napping at the same time that J and M were sleeping, including the dogs, but I can think of no other occasions when this has occurred. This morning, we were actually all awake at once, which is a much more common occurrence when J stays up late, unless I happen to stay asleep when the Toddler wakes up. There's a lot of activity in the mornings, usually, with everyone running around and talking all at once and dogs and baby and Girl Child cavorting about, and J and M shouting stories at each other over the din. I love being here.
Anyway, now it's just me and Girl Child, and hopefully soon S and the Toddler will be up. The Toddler's been asleep for about two hours now, so I can't imagine he'll sleep for much longer, unless he takes another epic 3-hour nap. So, now it is time to go to the kitchen and gorge myself on something random because I keep forgetting about the existence of real food. Mmm, real food. I like food. I think I'll go searching for some.
I love watching hypothetical/fictional disasters in movies and on TV shows. I like the hysteria, the little CGI cities being ripped to shreds, the explosions. I am a serious dork. I love 2012. Twister was my favorite movie when I was little, and also Night of the Twisters, which is so bad it's good. I liked Dante's Peak and I haven't seen Volcano yet, but it's on the list. I want to be in possession of every disaster movie that was any good. I don't mind cheesy special effects, the more destruction the better! Like The Core, or epic earthquake movies, documentaries about what might happen if a super tornado hit, or if Mount Rainer erupted cataclysmically, or if a really big hurricane hit New York City.
God, I love a good, cheesy disaster movie.
The Toddler is currently down for a nap - I'm not sure how long he'll sleep, since S had to move his bedtime to 9:00 so he'd stop waking up at 1 AM and stay awake all night. S decided that she needed one, too, and after she gets up, we're going to the library so I can drop off those books that I deem useless and pick up my new holds (whee!), and then I think we have an errand or three, but I'm not sure. Pretty stoked about the books, though, I believe one of them is crochet amigurumi of things like zombies and monsters, and I'm all for having patterns for those kinds of things. Poor Toddler, by the time he's five, he's going to have a bedroom filled entirely with zombies, Cthulhu stuffies, monsters, and other strange oddities.
My life is an oddity.
The Girl Child has rearisen - I was previously the only person awake. Because of the various sleeping schedules of the inhabitants of this house, it almost never transpires that we are all awake or all asleep at the same time. I in fact remember very few occasions where we have all been asleep at the same time - there was one day when everyone who doesn't work nights was napping at the same time that J and M were sleeping, including the dogs, but I can think of no other occasions when this has occurred. This morning, we were actually all awake at once, which is a much more common occurrence when J stays up late, unless I happen to stay asleep when the Toddler wakes up. There's a lot of activity in the mornings, usually, with everyone running around and talking all at once and dogs and baby and Girl Child cavorting about, and J and M shouting stories at each other over the din. I love being here.
Anyway, now it's just me and Girl Child, and hopefully soon S and the Toddler will be up. The Toddler's been asleep for about two hours now, so I can't imagine he'll sleep for much longer, unless he takes another epic 3-hour nap. So, now it is time to go to the kitchen and gorge myself on something random because I keep forgetting about the existence of real food. Mmm, real food. I like food. I think I'll go searching for some.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Another Good Day
Today, I spent a good six hours working on a crochet block for the pillow cover things I'm making for the throw pillows that will match my afghan, only to discover that the pattern is completely fucked and that I can't use it. After I was almost done. Because that's when I discovered that the pattern was fucked no matter what I do. So I gave it to the Toddler.
S and I are going to start baby-sitting LW a couple days a week soon, so that should be interesting. We're baby-sitting him tomorrow for a bit while A has a job interview. I hope she gets it, I think she misses working.
Tomorrow, I will hopefully work on the laundry while S folds what is already clean. So. Much. Laundry. I'm not sure when we're going to get that done, but hopefully it'll happen.
Today was a really good day, though. S, M, Girl Child, and I watched the extended version of the first Lord of the Rings movie, and didn't finish until about 15 minutes ago. Girl Child hadn't seen it all the way through yet, and it made her cry. D'aww.
W and A came to visit around 7:00 this evening and hung out for a little bit, which was nice. Then the Toddler went to bed and S and M went out for dinner while Girl Child and I hung out and played music while I did some work partially constructing the afghan.
Most of the day was just regular stuff, same as always.
I'd write more, but I'm so tired my brain is no longer functioning. I forgot to eat any actual food all day, though, which was kind of stupid of me.
I would go lay down now, but the Toddler is having one of his periods of wakefulness.
I have fantastic ideas for stories to write, but none of them come to me in words, just flashes of images. They're all horror. I think I read too much Stephen King while I was in high school. It's permanently addled my brain.
I'm going to need to go to sleep soon if I want to resemble anything close to alive tomorrow.
S and I are going to start baby-sitting LW a couple days a week soon, so that should be interesting. We're baby-sitting him tomorrow for a bit while A has a job interview. I hope she gets it, I think she misses working.
Tomorrow, I will hopefully work on the laundry while S folds what is already clean. So. Much. Laundry. I'm not sure when we're going to get that done, but hopefully it'll happen.
Today was a really good day, though. S, M, Girl Child, and I watched the extended version of the first Lord of the Rings movie, and didn't finish until about 15 minutes ago. Girl Child hadn't seen it all the way through yet, and it made her cry. D'aww.
W and A came to visit around 7:00 this evening and hung out for a little bit, which was nice. Then the Toddler went to bed and S and M went out for dinner while Girl Child and I hung out and played music while I did some work partially constructing the afghan.
Most of the day was just regular stuff, same as always.
I'd write more, but I'm so tired my brain is no longer functioning. I forgot to eat any actual food all day, though, which was kind of stupid of me.
I would go lay down now, but the Toddler is having one of his periods of wakefulness.
I have fantastic ideas for stories to write, but none of them come to me in words, just flashes of images. They're all horror. I think I read too much Stephen King while I was in high school. It's permanently addled my brain.
I'm going to need to go to sleep soon if I want to resemble anything close to alive tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Conversations and Crochet
Today, J asked me to make sure he has a clean pair of jeans, because he’s completely out of clean pairs, and since I’m the only able-bodied person who will be awake during the day, it falls to me to do it. I said to him, “How do you manage to run out of jeans, anyway? You own more pairs than anyone else I’ve ever known.” He said, “I don’t know.. they just.. end up in... places.” Then, of course, he got laughed at. I don't even know what that means!
So, anyway, I’ll be doing some laundry today, which was the plan anyway, so I’ll just make sure a pair of J’s jeans get washed. And hopefully not mix them up with Girl Child’s, which has happened before.
J and S let me sleep until 9:00, which was completely awesome of them. I love them.
Yesterday when Girl Child came home from school, she showed off her grade for her Japan report, which was a 99/100, and she was all disappointed about it because the only reason she didn’t get a perfect score was because she put one of the parts of her report in the wrong place. Anyway, J and S were rightfully impressed with her grade, and then the following conversation took place:
S: “Girl Child, you deserve a reward or something for that. I just don’t know what.” (Obviously Girl Child’s actual name was used, we don’t call her that in real life.)
Me: “We could... throw confetti at her and sing a song?”
S: *rolls up a straw wrapper, throws it at Girl Child, and makes a tootling horn noise through her hand*
We are awesomely crazy. I love living here so much. Even when my preferred breakfast condiments disappear completely.
I decided a few days ago that I was going to turn the bedspread project for when I was going to get married into an afghan. Since, y’know, I’m not getting married anymore. Anyway, I've got about half the squares I need, and am going to have to buy four more skeins of yarn so I can finish it, but I finally picked a square design I like after dozens of attempts over the last few days. I did it in Paint. Here's a picture:
Anyway, there’s not a whole lot happening right now, I think we might be going to Starbucks in a little bit, though, but that’s not terribly exciting or interesting. There's just not a whole lot going on right now, which is kind of nice.
So, anyway, I’ll be doing some laundry today, which was the plan anyway, so I’ll just make sure a pair of J’s jeans get washed. And hopefully not mix them up with Girl Child’s, which has happened before.
J and S let me sleep until 9:00, which was completely awesome of them. I love them.
Yesterday when Girl Child came home from school, she showed off her grade for her Japan report, which was a 99/100, and she was all disappointed about it because the only reason she didn’t get a perfect score was because she put one of the parts of her report in the wrong place. Anyway, J and S were rightfully impressed with her grade, and then the following conversation took place:
S: “Girl Child, you deserve a reward or something for that. I just don’t know what.” (Obviously Girl Child’s actual name was used, we don’t call her that in real life.)
Me: “We could... throw confetti at her and sing a song?”
S: *rolls up a straw wrapper, throws it at Girl Child, and makes a tootling horn noise through her hand*
We are awesomely crazy. I love living here so much. Even when my preferred breakfast condiments disappear completely.
I decided a few days ago that I was going to turn the bedspread project for when I was going to get married into an afghan. Since, y’know, I’m not getting married anymore. Anyway, I've got about half the squares I need, and am going to have to buy four more skeins of yarn so I can finish it, but I finally picked a square design I like after dozens of attempts over the last few days. I did it in Paint. Here's a picture:
 |
| These colors are very close to the yarn colors I'm using. |
Anyway, there’s not a whole lot happening right now, I think we might be going to Starbucks in a little bit, though, but that’s not terribly exciting or interesting. There's just not a whole lot going on right now, which is kind of nice.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Self-Worth
I really want a gym membership. I want to get toned and lose some weight and be able to wear my cute clothes again. I want to have the energy to do everything I want to in a day again. My weight is starting to get out of hand, especially since I'm barely five feet tall. I miss the body I used to have when I was active, before the car accident in 2008. I miss feeling beautiful. I miss everything about that, especially being healthy. I used to be ridiculously healthy, I never got sick, ever, except when I got sick epically, which only happened about once a year, sometimes once every couple of years.
I miss how my hair was before I started dyeing it in 2008. (That just seems to be the year of everything being fucked.) It's a lot thinner now, though it's coming back and starting to feel healthy again, but I'm starting to think it'll never be as thick or as beautiful as it was. I don't know what I was thinking.
I miss having a job and feeling like I was doing something. It doesn't matter if it's retail or not, at least it's not being useless all the time, which is how I feel so often now. I'll probably even feel useless if I manage to get the whole of the house cleaned up and organized, and I still feel useless even though I'm helping out with the Toddler and the cooking. I don't think these feelings will change unless I have a job, I don't feel like I'm contributing in a tangible way unless I am also earning money in addition to everything else I'm attempting to accomplish. I want to be Superwoman, I want to do it all so I feel that I am worth having here.
I'm so different from how I was a few years ago. I would have taken this life, these people, for granted, completely, just a few years ago. I can't believe how much I have changed. I don't like who I was and I am glad of the change, but I'm not sure I like who I am now. I imagine I'd be fine with myself if I had a job. It all seems to come down to my employment status.
I want to work on getting my driver's license this summer. I want to actually work on it, actually practice enough that I will be able to drive in any condition, and that I won't be a road hazard to everyone around me. I want my driver's license. I want to be able to own a car and drive it. I want to be independent. (This does not mean I want to live alone. I would go slowly insane if I lived alone, I don't think I'm equipped to be alone, but that kind of independence, especially if it came coupled with a job, would mean I would also be in the house less and drive S a lot less crazy.)
I want to be able to go somewhere outside of the house under my own power, alone, to go grocery shopping or run errands or whatever. I want to be an adult.
I need to grow up. It's time. I'm not sure what that will mean, I'm not sure it's something I truly want, but I want to make some changes. I want to eat better, join a gym and lose some fucking weight, get a job and a driver's license and a car, and get my debt paid off. I want to feel worthy of the friendship and love that I have been offered in this house.
I miss how my hair was before I started dyeing it in 2008. (That just seems to be the year of everything being fucked.) It's a lot thinner now, though it's coming back and starting to feel healthy again, but I'm starting to think it'll never be as thick or as beautiful as it was. I don't know what I was thinking.
I miss having a job and feeling like I was doing something. It doesn't matter if it's retail or not, at least it's not being useless all the time, which is how I feel so often now. I'll probably even feel useless if I manage to get the whole of the house cleaned up and organized, and I still feel useless even though I'm helping out with the Toddler and the cooking. I don't think these feelings will change unless I have a job, I don't feel like I'm contributing in a tangible way unless I am also earning money in addition to everything else I'm attempting to accomplish. I want to be Superwoman, I want to do it all so I feel that I am worth having here.
I'm so different from how I was a few years ago. I would have taken this life, these people, for granted, completely, just a few years ago. I can't believe how much I have changed. I don't like who I was and I am glad of the change, but I'm not sure I like who I am now. I imagine I'd be fine with myself if I had a job. It all seems to come down to my employment status.
I want to work on getting my driver's license this summer. I want to actually work on it, actually practice enough that I will be able to drive in any condition, and that I won't be a road hazard to everyone around me. I want my driver's license. I want to be able to own a car and drive it. I want to be independent. (This does not mean I want to live alone. I would go slowly insane if I lived alone, I don't think I'm equipped to be alone, but that kind of independence, especially if it came coupled with a job, would mean I would also be in the house less and drive S a lot less crazy.)
I want to be able to go somewhere outside of the house under my own power, alone, to go grocery shopping or run errands or whatever. I want to be an adult.
I need to grow up. It's time. I'm not sure what that will mean, I'm not sure it's something I truly want, but I want to make some changes. I want to eat better, join a gym and lose some fucking weight, get a job and a driver's license and a car, and get my debt paid off. I want to feel worthy of the friendship and love that I have been offered in this house.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Procrastination and File Transfers
I’m really not very good at following through with my plans.
Remember all that stuff about getting something done today? Well, I must be the Queen of Accomplishing Nothing, because that’s pretty much what I did. Well, I helped S get the living room cleaned up a bit and there was some play with the Toddler, and I “made” the corn for dinner tonight (I threw a bag of frozen corn into a bowl, added butter, and microwaved it), but I haven’t done much else. I even had a nap for awhile because I was exhausted. Honestly, if I could sleep 12 hours a day, it would be so awesome.
Anyway, I am currently writing this from the laptop I was using before the screen gave out. J fixed it up for me. He removed the screen, which involved completely destroying it, set up the wireless antenna so I could have internet without stretching still another ethernet cable across the living room (the antenna is taped across the chasm that once held the screen), and set it up with new drivers for the monitor so I could have a decent screen resolution. Other than the cables completely taking over this side of the couch, it’s not bad. My only real problem is that this keyboard is half broken, so it takes me longer to type on this computer than it does to use J’s, but at least I have the ability to use the internet when he’s here again, which I have sorely missed. I’m going to take pictures of this amalgam soonish and post them to There I Fixed It, which is a site on the Cheezburger Network, for those not in the know.
I need to mop the kitchen soon, I don’t think J is going to do it, and there’s glass all over the floor. I’m going to see if wet paper towels do the trick first, though, because I hate mopping. (There was an unfortunate incident with an ashtray.)
Unfortunately, we are NOT having game tonight, because W and A are still moving into their new apartment and getting everything unpacked and put away. But yay, they’ll only be living about 5 minutes away, so it’ll probably be easier overall to game from now on, because they won’t have to worry as much about gas and the driving time. I’m rather disappointed that we can’t play tonight, but it’s so novel to be able to have the internet on a day when J doesn’t work that I don’t mind too much.
J also is fixing my external hard drive for me. Well, he’s fixing it by doing a virus scan on it and moving all the files onto his computer because it’s become very temperamental and I haven’t actually been able to access anything for about a month or so. This is very bad, because it has literally all of my files on it, and I don’t have back-ups due to that whole being broke thing.
There was talk earlier of moving to Texas, but I think that got cancelled because we want to keep M and he has to stay in Kansas for a little bit longer. At first, I was horrified when I heard J and S talking about it, because I assumed they’d want to leave me here, but they’re planning to keep me! Yay!! I wish they were actual, “real” family, but they’re my family anyway, and I love them so much, and I’m so glad I get to be with them.
Remember all that stuff about getting something done today? Well, I must be the Queen of Accomplishing Nothing, because that’s pretty much what I did. Well, I helped S get the living room cleaned up a bit and there was some play with the Toddler, and I “made” the corn for dinner tonight (I threw a bag of frozen corn into a bowl, added butter, and microwaved it), but I haven’t done much else. I even had a nap for awhile because I was exhausted. Honestly, if I could sleep 12 hours a day, it would be so awesome.
Anyway, I am currently writing this from the laptop I was using before the screen gave out. J fixed it up for me. He removed the screen, which involved completely destroying it, set up the wireless antenna so I could have internet without stretching still another ethernet cable across the living room (the antenna is taped across the chasm that once held the screen), and set it up with new drivers for the monitor so I could have a decent screen resolution. Other than the cables completely taking over this side of the couch, it’s not bad. My only real problem is that this keyboard is half broken, so it takes me longer to type on this computer than it does to use J’s, but at least I have the ability to use the internet when he’s here again, which I have sorely missed. I’m going to take pictures of this amalgam soonish and post them to There I Fixed It, which is a site on the Cheezburger Network, for those not in the know.
I need to mop the kitchen soon, I don’t think J is going to do it, and there’s glass all over the floor. I’m going to see if wet paper towels do the trick first, though, because I hate mopping. (There was an unfortunate incident with an ashtray.)
Unfortunately, we are NOT having game tonight, because W and A are still moving into their new apartment and getting everything unpacked and put away. But yay, they’ll only be living about 5 minutes away, so it’ll probably be easier overall to game from now on, because they won’t have to worry as much about gas and the driving time. I’m rather disappointed that we can’t play tonight, but it’s so novel to be able to have the internet on a day when J doesn’t work that I don’t mind too much.
J also is fixing my external hard drive for me. Well, he’s fixing it by doing a virus scan on it and moving all the files onto his computer because it’s become very temperamental and I haven’t actually been able to access anything for about a month or so. This is very bad, because it has literally all of my files on it, and I don’t have back-ups due to that whole being broke thing.
There was talk earlier of moving to Texas, but I think that got cancelled because we want to keep M and he has to stay in Kansas for a little bit longer. At first, I was horrified when I heard J and S talking about it, because I assumed they’d want to leave me here, but they’re planning to keep me! Yay!! I wish they were actual, “real” family, but they’re my family anyway, and I love them so much, and I’m so glad I get to be with them.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Today Was a Good Day
Today was a good day.
Despite all the turmoil and the arguing with Girl Child, today was a good day.
Despite all my inner turmoil regarding his new relationship, barely five months after ending our engagement, today was a good day.
My back hurts, I'm exhausted, and it seems that the laundry pile breeds in the night and grows in new and exciting ways every time my back is turned and I feel like I'll never completely finish, but today was a good day.
There were laughs with M and S and G, and listening to the banter between them was entertaining. I laughed at Hyperbole and a Half, because the Simple Dog stories never fail to crack me up. I helped Girl Child with reformatting her blog and gave the Toddler a shower after he coated himself in a sheen of barbecue sauce, had Taco Bell for dinner, and read a bit more of my Bill Bryson book. I got the trash bags out of the kitchen. I ran errands with S driving and waiting in the car for me (taking the Toddler to the store alone is a bit of an adventure, especially since he's developed an obsession with my hair), managed to get half a grocery list worth of food and picked up my library books.
Despite how stressed I've been today (which is probably more due to the scant five hours of sleep I had last night than today's events, to tell the truth), despite everything, today has been a good day.
I even managed to get along with the Girl Child this evening, which was nice. I like it when we get along.
I didn't vacuum anything, but M helped me get the laundry that's in baskets downstairs so I can get started on that already. If Girl Child ever gets her room clean, we can have her put her clean clothes away and have use of a basket for more clothes again. It really does seem like the laundry is neverending.
I'm going to go to sleep tonight thankful that I am surrounded by these wonderful people I can call my adopted family.
Despite all the turmoil and the arguing with Girl Child, today was a good day.
Despite all my inner turmoil regarding his new relationship, barely five months after ending our engagement, today was a good day.
My back hurts, I'm exhausted, and it seems that the laundry pile breeds in the night and grows in new and exciting ways every time my back is turned and I feel like I'll never completely finish, but today was a good day.
There were laughs with M and S and G, and listening to the banter between them was entertaining. I laughed at Hyperbole and a Half, because the Simple Dog stories never fail to crack me up. I helped Girl Child with reformatting her blog and gave the Toddler a shower after he coated himself in a sheen of barbecue sauce, had Taco Bell for dinner, and read a bit more of my Bill Bryson book. I got the trash bags out of the kitchen. I ran errands with S driving and waiting in the car for me (taking the Toddler to the store alone is a bit of an adventure, especially since he's developed an obsession with my hair), managed to get half a grocery list worth of food and picked up my library books.
Despite how stressed I've been today (which is probably more due to the scant five hours of sleep I had last night than today's events, to tell the truth), despite everything, today has been a good day.
I even managed to get along with the Girl Child this evening, which was nice. I like it when we get along.
I didn't vacuum anything, but M helped me get the laundry that's in baskets downstairs so I can get started on that already. If Girl Child ever gets her room clean, we can have her put her clean clothes away and have use of a basket for more clothes again. It really does seem like the laundry is neverending.
I'm going to go to sleep tonight thankful that I am surrounded by these wonderful people I can call my adopted family.
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